this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Privacy
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Please detail the arcane wizardry which allowed you to achieve the respectful of your choices part you described, because it is the only way your story differs from my own situation.
Yes, I think that's fairly accurate.
It's really that, while I've respected her choice to not participate in any of the practices/protocols I've recommended, she doesn't see my own involvement in them as anything more than a waste of time. Even more so, she's said she worries about the way it might change me into a paranoid person (conspiracy theorist).
Which feels a little disrespectful of the beliefs I've chosen. Like being told you're worshipping the wrong god, by your partner.
@starlord Why does she think you could become a conspiracy theorist? I have had random non-tech people tell me that they felt like their devices are watching them or listening in.
I really can't say, we simply don't agree. I say "I'd just rather my data belongs to me and curate who I share it with" and she hears "GIANT SPACE LIZARDS ARE TRYING TO MELT THE AMAZON" and just pictures me wearing a tin-foil hat.
I once asked her "If someone was standing outside our window, watching and taking notes, would you draw the curtains?" and she spent more time arguing that the metaphor was ridiculous and irrelevant than actually rationalizing the point I was trying to make. Literally no argument I've seen works on her. She just doesn't agree.
I suppose we've reached a "agree to disagree and don't talk about it as a result" status, which I'm willing to accept, sorta choosing which hill I wanna die on, ya know?
It's just that I wish there was more support, whereas I feel instead that there's ridicule or disrespect because her standpoint comes across more as "I'm right and you are wrong so I think less of you for it."
But, focusing on the privacy topic rather than relationship advice, I really just wish there were a way for me to present her with a case that allowed her to validate my arguments and respect them, even if she doesn't agree. I think that's just asking too much because there isn't a single justification I've ever put forth with which she could understand my opinion.
No privacy supporting suggestion works with her because she simply doesn't value it. I guess I could be projecting expectations, but I think I'm valid in wanting my views respected, even if they aren't conceded.