this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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Men's Liberation

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This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.


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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You have 0% custody? Otherwise your mother could see your kids whenever you have them, right?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

In "theory" or "legally" I have 50-50 custody. In practice, it's nearly impossible to enforce visitation with older children. My kids were 15 and 9 when we split. Immediately, the courts said enforcement on the 15-year-old was impossible. I spent a few years battling enforcement on the 9-year-old but she soon also became unenforceable. At a certain point you can't win if the kids also don't want to see you or make your visit a nightmare by passively resisting.

I was in the middle of one of these court battles when my daughter became anorexic and told the medical staff she didn't want me to visit her in hospital. She was about 13 and that was the last I saw her.

Legally, I am a 50-50 parent but in reality the only thing I'm entitled to do is pay their mother $1,000 a month.