this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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Luigi Mangione
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Police just released more footage of the alleged perpetrator.
I can't believe that in 2025 people still believe in Bigfoot. That is so obviously just a Yeti in a gorilla suit.
Bigfoot is just his last name. Larry Bigfoot. He plays cello.
Pfffft! That's obviously a wendigo having a bad hair day.
So like a human-sized, human-shaped Bigfoot
What if all along bigfoot was just a dude who had big feet??
It's actually just an averagely hairy Turkish man.
Maybe almost human shaped, I'd say the arms are curiously long for a regular human and the torso is much bulkier than our's, but I am no expert on human or bigfoot anatomy.
Oh shit. That looks like me and I live in Oregon.
Brb, gotta go bury some stuff...
(Including myself)
I like to think that some version of this conversation took place:
"Chief, should we release this security footage to the press?"
"Why wouldn't we?"
"Well, it looks like bigfoot. Like a bigfoot scam video."
"It sure does. But if we don't release it, they'll say we're suppressing it."
"As long as you are prepared for the jokes and memes, Sir."