this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
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Guys, let me explain this weirdness. The woman usually expects you to lead, make the decision. You don't ask, you tell.
"I know! Let's go to $restaurant!"
Here's the part where you're expected to have a modicum of social skills, be able to tell if she likes the idea.
No? State another option. Don't ask, state.
"Not liking that? OK, we'll got to $restaurant2."
Rinse and repeat.
Relationships require social skills, sorry guys, it's true.
You’ve lost me. Why wouldn’t I ask my partner what she feels like? Is asking questions not a part of social skills?
Everyone hates on the guy, but he's right. An average heterosexual relationship is between an overly sure person and a follower. There's some hormonal explanation to it, I believe.
By observing perfectly normal happy heterosexual partnerships you'll see exactly that dynamic. One person mostly decides, the other mostly accepts. And they're both happy.
I had the luxury of asking some fairly smart and self-aware women why they behave like that with me, instead of trying to have an equal relationship, and their answer was that they simply like it that way. They like the comfort of things being taken care of and decided swiftly and confidently. And regularly their partner would do just that. They thought it was absolutely fine and actually pretty attractive.
Lemmy is a queer/progressive echo chamber, so the 95% of the population reality seems wrong and someone expressing its normality without over-explaining gets downvoted. Like the guy you were replying to. But in fact, it's a solid dating advice for the majority out there.
WTF dude, less cool aid
Holy shit. Andrew Tate is on Lemmy.
Nah.
Nah, you're just in a relationship with an immature person.
PHP developer detected, fire the missiles
Well, no. What happens with us is that either one of us says "want to go to X restaurant?" Far enough ahead of time that the other person hasn't got some set idea of what they want this evening . So 90% of the time we just get "sure, thanks, yes". And maybe 10% of the time a "no, but could we go to Y?". Or a "No, I need to cook the chicken or it will go bad" And it's literally never gone farther than that.
If my husband did what you are describing above I would be confused. Like if he said "we will go to $restaurant" like that I would assume he had a desperate craving for it and would say yes, as it would be uncharacteristic. But if it kept happening I would ask him WTF?
Wow! A real alpha male!
Yeesh. I like talking with my partners, not to.
My gf would get real pissed, real fast if I acted like this and I love her for it.
See, this is why I like my relationships 50-50. We both agree on something and each one pays their own food and we're back at the house bumping uglies. Done.
Where do we find these $resturants?
GET /Restaurants