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You make very good points also to add women in online spaces have incentives to pretend to be male or be ambiguous and not bring attention that they are women online to reduce the harassment they get. I'm pulling numbers out of the air but I feel 10% the internet that is male are assholes or children that don't have any social skills yet and the other 90% get lumped in with them because we don't reach out at all as to not come off as creeps like the other 10%. So you don't hear about the polite respectful ones.
My hypothesis for this comes from the fact that most men I meet in real life are polite social people that respect women with about 10% being weird assholes. I also don't blame women being guarded of all men as that 10% are true nightmare. I mean if there was a 10% chance a strange man you meet out in public was going to be Jason Voorhees. I would mace every man that came up to me as well. That's how those assholes ruin it for everyone. Well except the grifrers that make it worse that is.
Also I'm married but we met online before tinder broke dating sites. So take what I say with a grain of salt just from an old man that sees the struggle of young people of all genders go through and I have empathy for them.
Seeing Lemmy's reaction to the bear made me want to crawl under a rock to be honest, so many people demonstrating that they're exactly the reason why women don't feel safe. A lot more than 10% of men on the internet are weird assholes, they just mask it well until they feel insulted. I've had a cis woman friend have to change her screen name because she'd occasionally get clocked and harassed, and a trans friend is really split on the progress she's making with her voice, because now she's also getting harassed when using voice chat in games.
Sorry mostly unrelated tangent, it just feels like gender relations have been backsliding
That was definitely hard to witness
Like, I get it, it's upsetting to be judged a predator based off of your gender alone. That's something I struggle with being trans, seeing how seemingly half the country thinks trans people are just perverts and child predators. But with the whole bear situation, men need to realize that it's not a reflection of them as individuals but a reflection of society. Being upset about it is normal and rational, but you should be upset at the society that allows women to be treated in such a way that women have to be suspicious and fearful, instead of being upset at the women making them confront this ugly truth.
Discussing gender relations like this should be done carefully with empathy, telling a bunch of male teens and young men that they're all predators can be quite damaging in and of itself, both to the men directly and to the greater discussion and understanding of the problems we face as a society. God knows being on reddit as a teenager and hearing that really hurt me and contributed to mental issues I haven't and probably will never fully resolve.
I'm out of the loop, what bear situation are you referring to?
it was something like, there was a viral tweet asking if women would rather be alone in the woods with a bear or with a man, and most women said they'd pick the bear, and many many many men were very gross about this in response
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_or_bear
Basically women expressing they'd be more comfortable in the woods knowing that there's a bear roaming around than knowing there's a random man roaming around