this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2024
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Lefty Memes
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You mean unlike other land fowl? Duck and goose is delicious. Turkey not so much.
I ended up stumbling into an amazing way to cook turkey this year after we decided we didn't want to get up early enough to cook it the way we normally would. Instead, we decided it would be better to carve up the raw bird into smaller pieces and cook it over a wood fire. Did the carving the day before, seasoned it with salt, pepper, and a bit of sugar.
It sounds like the term you're looking for is "spatchcock", and one of my heavy lifters. My man Alton's the Bill Nye of badass cookin' w/ SCIENCE!, NGL.
Aside, one of the most cost effective ways to dish up fancy AF, for as little cost or effort as possible: spatchcock game hens, marinate 12-24hrs, pan sear/grill with fresh herbs (seasonal pairings that are widely available locally [store or wild/farm], for example, fall: pepitas, sumac, marjoram; winter: celeriac, rosemary, root veg, alliums; spring: spruce tips, sage [overdone, IMHO😅), mint; summer: culantro, dill, tarragon, etc.)
No, I didn't just cut it open. I cut it apart. Drumstick here, wing there, breast meat, small bits because I'm bad at doing the proper cuts. The closest I came to marinating was just tossing it in some salt and pepper for seasoning and sugar for color. Never heard of culantro before, but from the sounds of it, it seems like just a stronger, probably soapier version of cilantro. I'll skip that.
Ah, you misunderstood, but that's alright. Try again, friend. 🤓
Bruh you misunderstood, don't gaslight. They didn't spatchcock their bird, they broke it down/butchered it into individual pieces, dry brined it, and roasted it
Broder, don't white knight at windmills. They didn't read the article and posted a wild guess (incorrect) as justification for a glibly ignorant opinion.
Also, broke down/butchered is an approximation, sure, but "adding salt & pepper" to said carrion pile is as much "dry brining" as "soaking" isn't sex.
We can do better.
Dawg they clearly said they cut their bird up into pieces, describing a process very obviously distinct from spatchcocking, yet you took that and ran all the way to spatchcocking for some reason, and then got upset that they don't have the astounding culinary background you seem to think you have I guess? "Broke down/butchered" is not an approximation, they're more technical terms for the exact process they're describing. Dry brining is nothing more than putting salt on meat and letting it rest for a period of time. Calling someone "glibly ignorant" for not knowing those culinary terms, and describing their process as "adding salt pepper to a carrion pile" is reductive, elitist, and arrogant, no windmills about it.
Who hurt you, puppy? You ok? You're all over the place and frothing a little. Breathe. 🥲
No one asked you to bring your kinks into this
Oooh, she's kinky, too? Adorbs.
Stop being weird dude
Never. Stop. Never stop.
I looked at the article about spatchcocking. It did not resemble what I did. I also looked at the link about culantro vs cilantro and made an educated guess, having accidentally soap-fumed my kitchen in the past by chopping up cilantro. Were you telling me I should try spatchcocking next year? Based on how things cooked this year, I doubt I'll be doing that. Different parts of the bird cooked at different rates and needed to come off of the fire pit at different times. Are you just some smartass trying to show off what you learned in culinary school this week? That's a good way to become a meme, like a certain high school kid in the 2000s who had seen plenty of photoshops in his time and wanted the world to know about it.
Ya know? I sit, corrected. I assumed laziness, and that was not based on anything I know of you personally, ofc, so that's on me. FWIW, I had pictured my comment being helpful, if a little sharp, and I should've done everyone here the kindness of fixing the latter.
To the other point, I'm retired from a decades-long culinary career that spanned continents and facilitated some of my most adventurous, incredible experiences.
I do apologize for my ridiculousness. My private life's been teetering for months, and I think it's reached a Rubicon. I hope you find all sorts of wonderment in your future projects, in kitchens and beyond, to share that inspiration with others around you. This world needs more of that.
Hey fucker what country you escaping to?
I'm not rich so I just got guns.
Wherever you're not, cupcake. Read a book sometime. Might be just enough — though, likelier not. 🤣🖖🏽
turkey is amazing if cooked right, i prefer it to chicken. most people cook it too hot/long and don't baste, so it's dry af
You just get a lot of people who cook turkey exactly once per year, don't do a particularly good job, and then ruin everybody's expectations of the bird.
Plus or minus turkey lunch meat, which is usually mediocre at best.
mmm i started buying fresh cut turkey deli meat, changed my game. i switch between Cajun Turkey and sun dried tomato. pair it with Amish mayo/mustard. so good
I love your style but sun dried tomatoes are like raisins. Make something good fucking disgusting.
I think it's more gamey than poultry, is what he might have meant.
Don't blame the ingredients for the chef's shite skills. I have converted diehard-but-curious vegetarians with turkey alone. I'm sorry your experience has been wholly negative, and I genuinely wish you better luck in the future. 🧑🏼🍳