this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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I feel like past a certain age everyone doesn't like growing older. For me I have that same feeling plus the added pressure that every year I go from being an X year old virgin to an X+1 one year old virgin. I'm about to finish collage and go into the work field which given my internship I can already tell I won't have much of a chance at meeting new people even less girls.

Everytime I find someone and start getting along with them really well. I think to my self this will finally be the year which I stop being a virgin. But it just has not worked out. Of course I dont go into a relationship with the sole goal of losing my V-card but it is something that crosses my mind.

I am 24 year old and I am still a virgin.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)

We occasionally get similar posts here. You might be in a different situation than most of your peers. But certainly not the only one telling this story here on Lemmy. And at 24 you're not even that old compared to other people who are 30 or past that and in a similar situation.

Don't pressure yourself too much. That'd be my advice. Life isn't a competition in who has sex at what age. There is more to it. If you want to focus on career, if if you're too busy or just introverted... That's fine. If you're unhappy and want a partner, go ahead and try to change something about it, go out and socialize, go dating. Just be aware society always tries to pressure us into doing things, like have sex, or a beautiful partner, or buy a big SUV or pickup truck or whatever. The thing is, you're not everyone else but an individual. Go figure what's good for you, and not what everyone else wants you to do. If you let them reduce you to that, that's a sure way to become unhappy.

(Edit: And I can empathize. Any fear of missing out is real. But usually things look more exciting and indispensable than they really are. And you can never change the past. Be a bit careful when growing up not to become some grumpy version of yourself who is just sad about the past and missed opportunities. It's usually more healthy to focus on the opportunities which lie ahead, because these are the ones you can still take.)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

Well I have tried to go on dates or try to find someone but I am also picky with the people I choose to go out with. What I take most from your comment is the last part, thank you.

[–] MutilationWave 1 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Care to list your standards?

If that's too personal no sweat.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Its hard to list them just like that and some of them are pretty standard IMO. I would say the most impactful standard that I have is non smoker (tabaco), weed I dont mind as long as it isn't a habit.

Other which I feel like is really big is consistent communication. Which you might think is easy to find but in my experience some girls just dont answer for days and that is not something which I appricate. i know in some situations it just means that she is not that interested but I get that a lot :/

This is one of the obvious ones I guess but not being mean and initialy trying to be nice to people.

[–] MutilationWave 1 points 3 weeks ago

It's very good that your standards are not based on your perception of beauty. Keep at it.

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