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Take that, atheists (files.catbox.moe)

submitted 4 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] irmoz 79 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

7th implied fact: the baby's religion somehow plays a role in your deciding whether or not to hit it with a bat.

[–] T156 46 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Eigth implied fact: The baby is durable enough to be hit by a baseball bat hard enough to fling it out of the stadium, and remain in one piece.

[–] FooBarrington 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't see that implication

[–] T156 16 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The baby is hardly going to make it out of the stadium if it splashes on impact.

[–] FooBarrington 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe not all, but individual parts should be far more aerodynamic!

[–] Bertuccio 19 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Are there rules for that in baseball? If the ball breaks up I assume there's no play and they do over.

[–] T156 7 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Got bored and looked it up, and there aren't, surprisingly. At least not in the 2019 revision of the Major League Baseball rules. But they do define what a ball is, and isn't, and a baby is not considered a valid ball (3.01).

But at least according to Rule 5.01(c)(1), if part of the baby gets on the batter, they might be considered "hit by pitch", and therefore eligible to advance to first base. (It would be considered a 'dead' ball, which is funny, given the context.)

The rules aren't written expecting the ball to break into bits upon impact, so it'd depend on it actually happening to get precedent.

But at least going by 4.01(a,e), it's the umpire's fault for providing an invalid "ball", and they might have to clean up, since they're tasked with replacing the "ball" if damaged.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I would assume the baby's head is what counts as the ball, here. If it detaches in a large piece and leaves the stadium, it should likely count.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

Do they have spare Christian babies on hand though?

[–] GraniteM 1 points 4 weeks ago

"So you're playing baseball, and Martha Kent is the pitcher..."