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I am one of those obese people, and it seems so achingly unfair.
I am an active person. I eat similar foods and quantities as my peers, with drastically different results. I drink water, not soda or juice. I basically stopped drinking coffee, but when I did, it was always plain black. The only weight loss success I’ve had was spending a year on a keto diet, which my doctor swears was slowly killing me (salt, sulfites, etc). My doctor says I have mild hypothyroidism, but not bad enough to call for treatment.
I have been overweight my entire life, living in a world that fundamentally believes that this is entirely my fault. I don’t know how to convey the hopelessness that people like me have to live with, and the resolve that it requires to keep making healthy choices in spite of it, and never seeing beneficial results.
I don’t know how to get off this ride. All I ask is for other people to not believe I am a lazy shameless grotesque person for being forced to ride it.
I have a good friend that sounds kind of similar. She's historically the most active among our friend group usually, generally the most fit and capable (she did the Alcatraz swim, for example). Eats completely reasonably, at times very well (due to what you're describing). But she's just always kinda large, even at her smallest. It's always struck me as extremely unfair, like you said, and she's really suffered for it.
I don't know your situation, but she's currently living her best life. Happy family with kids, loving kind partner, rewarding job in a stunningly beautiful (if fairly remote) location. And she deserves it, she's a wonderful human.
But boy did she suffer frustration and hopelessness on repeat along the way. Nearly gave up on trying for the life she wanted more than once. And I fully recognize the deck is stacked in some important ways against folks like y'all, so please don't read my "happy outcome" story as contradicting anything you said. But don't give up on what ya want.