The Onion

4492 readers

489 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

468

Ben Shapiro Calls for Boycott of Zoltar Machine That Wouldn’t Make Him Big (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

15 comments fedilink hide all child comments

BOCA RATON, Fla. — Conservative podcaster Ben Shapiro called for a boycott of Zoltar machines after his wish to become “big” went unfulfilled for the 4,000th day straight, confirmed sources who learned about this news against their will.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] just_another_person 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why does this fucker always look like he's dropping a deuce and about to cry about it?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Oh that’s just his signature resting ‘whiny little bitch’ face.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For the longest time i have never even heard him talk. All i heard was people imitating him. And i have to say, they are all 100% spot on

[–] A7thStone 2 points 1 month ago

Let's say your wife's p-word is dry. Let's say, hypothetically, it's like the Sahara. My wife, who is a doctor, has informed me this is natural for a p-word. Of we accept the professional opinion of my wife, who is a doctor, you will obviously come to the conclusion that a wet p-word is symptomatic of a venereal disease. Facts don't care about your feelings.