ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
Do not request for donations.
Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

MrPoopyButthole

[email protected]

172

Rant about "having ADHD is not an excuse for everything" (reddthat.com)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/adhd

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If you haven't heard this cliche while discussing your neurodivergency with someone, then I envy your luck. Yesterday I fucked up, I feel shitty, but also I am pissed.

Our brains are impulsive af and tend to forget the most important information. We mess up, our RSD (and empathy) kicks in, we feel terrible, we vow to be more careful, but guess what? Thats fucking exhausting.

As a result, we start overthinking our every waking moment, stressing over every little thing. Because, we are trying to be aware of the things we cannot perceive.

At some point, hopefully we realize that we cannot live like that, and we start to arbitrarily ignore our compulsion to overthink. Most often that works out great because most often the threat is not real, but sometimes we make the wrong call.

The times we overthink are still more than the times we do not, and we still mess up. Let us have our fucking peace.

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[+] AnxiousOtter 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

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[–] aksdb 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This doesn’t seem reasonable… If you accept some responsibility

But ... that was the point. "Telling them your boundaries" implies not accepting something you are not up to. My managers know that I am not a good manager myself. I have a lot of qualities, at being a driving force in a project is not among them. So they don't utilize me for that. Which is good.

Yes, it would be on me if I constantly tell them "sure, just let me handle it" and then not handle it. But that would be the opposite of what I wrote above.

[+] AnxiousOtter 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

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[–] die444die 2 points 2 months ago

I think this may be a misunderstanding of what they are saying.

If you think I’ve forgotten a task you asked me to do, then I probably have. Say something. Don’t sit there stewing like I forgot it on purpose.

It’s not about them constantly checking up and reminding, it’s about reacting with anger to something we have no control over.

[–] aksdb 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yes and no; you left out part of my quote. Stuff that can be put in a reminder is up to me (especially if I tell them "I'll handle it"). But if for whatever reason that's not possible and I tell them "you might have to remind me again next week" and they are fine with that, then they shouldn't be pissed if I indeed needed a reminder. That's what I meant with "I warned them".

[–] die444die 3 points 2 months ago

Exactly. No idea why people have downvoted you.

Our happiness relies on being able to accept the limitations we have. If others can’t accept them that’s on them. And honestly it’s not that big a deal. I am successful and have been in the same profession for over 20 years. Everyone I work with knows about it and works with me. I also work around their limitations. That’s just part of being on a team.