this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
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I think this is a good opportunity to collectively discuss what is causing us to lead this lifestyle.
I had to move to a country with a more introverted culture than the one I grew up in (not the US), and I've struggled finding friends to spend my free time with so far, so I spend it on apps :-( They really are just a last resort and I'd much rather spend my time with actual people like in the olden days :-/
sign up for a class/activity, wear a conversation piece.
Smart move the latter, ~didn't think it.
About the former, I recently realized in practice that it's important to pick up activities etc. that you like and that attract people you can bond with. For example I like weightlefting at gym, but I realized it attracts so many people with repulsive ideologies, while I tried dancing and mobility classes the same gym offers and the environment was much much better, I found many good people there. (I still do weightlifting though and I found some good people there too.)
Plus, voicing your opinions helps a lot to filter people (I'm struggling a lot with this though).
This is massive. "Filtering" is the perfect way to put it. If you don't risk saying something potentially disagreeable, then no one will ever know who you are.
That goes for both repulsive and inclusive ideologies, I guess, but I definitely prefer the latter (this is an example of one of your "filtering" statements - now spectators to this conversation know I value inclusivity).
Awww, hope you make it eventually
Thank you, I'm trying to make it work out
Join some Whatsapp group that piques your interest and meet with them IRL. I wouldn't have thought that drinking beer and shooting the shit with total strangers could be so much fun, but here we are.
Haha that's a good idea. It's facebook groups over where I am but I will give it a try. I have heard some do meetups
When I was a kid, I used to play video games while jumping around. I'd stand in front of the TV, bounce around, play Mario, run in circles. My parents didn't care.
At some point, society said that was weird, and I had a gaming chair?
Watching myself balloon (and already using a standing desk for work) went back to standing while playing video games. I enjoy it!
Get a VR headset. I play all games moving around nowadays, it's great!
Everything else requires effort.
Yes. I think what makes these apps appealing is that 1) they can be used unplanned and your time in them doesnt have to be structured, and 2) they can fill up an arbitrarily long or short amount of time.
Hmm that is a very good description of how I use social media. Fill up unstructured downtime, or to bridge a gap between two other activities (god forbid I go thirty whole minutes without stimulation lol)
Then sometimes just hours and I come out of it feeling like total trash
Chronic pain gang, rise up 💪 (or remain seated)
I think a lot of it is a result of our capitalistic society squeezing as much as it can from us for profit
I honestly don't know if I'm ready to discuss this, yet.
That's ok.
I'm just checking my social media apps for any new messages and maybe droify for updates. After checking them in the morning I kinda think to myself that now job is done and any more time I spend of my morning on them is kinda wasted. Checking social media from time to time and speaking with your friends seems kinda healthy, but doomscrolling is kind of a waste after a point (happens if I'm too bored to start my day).
The thing is, after I check all these, I might go in a loop due to boredom (boredom may have many many reasons behind it). When I have tasks to do or I'm in a period that my friends and I are busy, this is more intense. The phone is an easy and portable distraction. All these contribute to an increase of phone usage (currently I'm in one of those situations and phone usage has increased probably by at least 50%).
Alright so let me begin,
Can't leave the house without spending $100, no "third places," new games are all just MTX delivery services
That sucks. I titally sympathize with the no third places thing. Have you tried one-off workshop events and canteens? Also volunteering
Condolences. I've taken to going to the coffee shop to meet my friend. Yeah it's not free, but it's cheap. For games, that's a bit of a blindspot for me since I only play good games these days.