this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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Also: "Is this humor?"
I take a weird amount of pleasure in hearing people laugh at something homo/transphobic or racist, and asking "Oh, I love jokes, especially inside ones, what's the joke here?"
Plenty of people actually try to explain "why" it's funny but it just wraps around to "I find racist things funny especially if it's against my preferred group to target"
And if they try to bring their "version" of statistics into an argument, I go "OH so you find incorrect numbers funny? I get it." and then make up some bullshit that disparages something they're likely to enjoy to make it seem like a bad thing, and laugh.
LPT: take some improve classes that make you go out of your comfort zone, you can have a LOT of fun messing with people when you're more practised at ad-libbing and being in uncomfortable situations.
Or other LPT: don't, and save the energy.
I was in a situation not long ago on the only discord server I frequent. This angry American guy kept posting women hating content that he thought was hilarious. Called him out on it and he tried to justify that women and men need their own community spaces. On a discord server owned and run by a woman for a video game we all play together.
He tried to go off on unrelated tangents but I stuck to my main point. I made it clear that his type of behaviour is what makes women feel unsafe in many communities and spaces. I also made it clear that his approach to mental health care was deeply flawed and did so by a long string of questions and statements all pointing out his hypocritical actions. I think that worked?
He kept going off on trans people, I asked him why he kept thinking of trans people. He kept saying women and men need their own spaces, I told him that if he is so desperate for men's only spaces, there's gay bars and clubs to go to. He kept bringing up other groups of people he hated in response to mental health questions, I asked him if he cares about his mental health or just looking for someone else to blame for his hate filled behaviour. When he deflected a question about why women feel unsafe in so many spaces, I brought it back around to challenge him to ask women why they feel unsafe and find out himself. The more he talked, the more he cornered himself. His actions never matched his words so I had a year+ catalogue of his hypocrisy to throw back at him.
In the end he agreed to stop posting hate content and then disappeared for a week. He came back briefly to privately talk to the discord server owner, she laid into him with a couple paragraphs regarding his hate towards women. He never responded and has disappeared again. I'm hoping he is reflecting real hard about himself right now, but I'm low on hope.
The biggest issue I have in dealing with hate filled people is that they have what feels like an infinite source of energy and their hate completely burns out all the good people they surround themselves with. Some of us are just exhausted and only want to play games, share stupid memes and post cute pet pictures. Don't bring your hate trash everywhere you go, please. It ain't funny.
I'm so tired.