this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2024
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I (20M) was never really a social person and spendy my middle school alone but I was able to make some friends in high school

However, ever since I started my Bachelors I've struggled to make friends.

I've tried joining clubs or participating in events but even when I do manage to have successful conversations I can't manage to turn that into a friendship. Considering how the year just ended I'm not going to have a chance

I never minded being alone when I was younger but my loneliness is really starting to really affect me.

I've lost any internet in watching tv shows or movies or playing any games, I can't find the motivation to study and always feel tired.

I've also started to constantly fantasize about being in a romantic relationship and worry about if I'll be alone for the rest of my life despite the fact that I've never had any interests in relationships or even an IRL crush.

I also have a porn addiction that's growing worse and I'm worried about its long term effects on me.

I've also never had any online friends before which means I don't know where to start.

I really need help.

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[–] j4k3 2 points 8 months ago

I've been in a similar place. The biggest thing I wish I had known was that 20 is still a kid. Like look at Ukraine right now. Why do you think their draft age is over 25? It is because the prefrontal cortex in the brain of humans is not fully developed until 25. You're still a kid, and that is okay. You're developing and it is a tough time. The whole "adult at 18" thing is totally bullshit just to have child soldiers that are easy to manipulate in a structured program. Almost everyone is struggling just like you. The more you disconnect from online media sources, the better time management you'll have with more motivation to connect with others too.