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Why is it that I fail when learning new hobbies/ things with groups? (self.casualconversation)

submitted 5 months ago by Grogon to c/[email protected]

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I don't have many examples, but to bring one or two up one was my scuba diving course in Thailand.

The dive instructor showed everything and we copied him in a pool. And everytime we had to do all the things I just looked bad.

Another example was climbing. They show how to tie the knot to harness, everyone successfully manages to tie the knot and I am standing their like an idi**.

The thing is what I observed is that if I have time to do things on my own and no pressure I seem to do "okay" and once I can do it I do it blind.

Anyone else experience this? What can I do? I am at a point I am afraid to learn new things because of failing infront of others.

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[–] barsquid 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

One thing that helped me is to imagine the worst, best, and likely scenarios to occur. Like tying a knot. Worst: I cannot do it, everyone there laughs at me and the instructor says I am the dumbest person they've ever seen. Pretty unrealistic. Best: I do it perfectly the first time, help everyone else, and they all think I am some sort of genius. Likely: it probably takes me a few times, but I'm certainly not the worst the instructor has seen. Everyone else takes one or two tries and mostly sympathizes that the knot isn't trivial to learn.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Reminding myself that I am not the worst ______ a professional has ever seen really helps a lot. I'm usually pretty far down there, but like. At least I'm not the actual worst.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Worst: You tie the knot, go climbing, fall down, knot doesn't hold, you go to hospital or die.

[–] barsquid 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's not realistic. It's a beginner class, they aren't going to take you on something dangerous and make you tie the knots holding yourself on the first day.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

In my personal experience, if I learn it wrong first, then I will keep that mistake. That is why learning it right first is so important to me, and I can only do that in peace, without disruptions from bystanders.