Shitty Million Dollar Ideas

Can't own a dog because home ownership has become a retirement goal in today's economy?

Get the experience by owning a dog (with several other people) and see it once a year.

Worth noting some animal shelters allow volunteers to walk dogs if you are into a less late stage capitalism version of this.

Flights can come and go as they please so everyone gets to experience the thrill of running through an airport.

There would be no departing/arriving flight screens. That spoils the surprise. Connecting flights only.

A fun extra challenge for air traffic controllers.

Just to freak people out…

Came up with this during the two days I mistakenly tried to start a new career.

Kind of like a Google Home or Amazon Echo but instead of being triggered by something like "Hey Google" or "Alexa" it's triggered by sneezes. It's whole purpose would be to say things like "bless you" or whatever the regional response is to a sneeze

Of course it would have to be connected to the internet so that we can sell sneeze analytics to Amazon for targeted advertising.

A wifi-enabled pet rock with a subsurface LED display (so it looks like a normal Pet Rock when it's not on). It behaves as a smart bulb / display with programmable color, brightness, and animation that can be triggered by webhooks or services like IFTTT.

Marketing campaign involves targetting usaians insecure about a lack of nationalism in their desert choices. Claim icecream sandwiches are effete and European while hot dogs symbolise freedom and the rags to riches stuff.

Perfect for those times when you really want to know what direction is North

In a world where creatures hunt you by sound hardwood must be a no-go. There's got to be a market for shag carpet so why not sell it at movie theater concession stands along with all the Marvel superhero cups?

Possible prototype:

It's a mattress and bedframe combination that makes every movement significantly louder. Bolts are loosened and the sound of the springs binding is incredibly apparent.

After all who doesn't want to feel uncomfortable around the holidays when family members stay in your guest room?

Find out who the chronic masturbators are and if you can expect a nephew in the new year.

"How to get thousands of people to send you money with little to no effort. Send $5 and a self addressed stamped envelope to..."

I've always wondered how many people fell for that.

This isn't really meant to save anyone's life. But it would let someone know to come pick up your corpse before it melts into the carpet and your cat starves.

Imagine a hockey puck sized Roomba that docks at the top of the bowl, off to one side, that slides to the bottom after every flush and then scrubs it's way back up to the dock.

A really expensive internet connected globe. Like most globes it would have its axis on a tilt. Except this one would also show a live view of day/night, and also the clouds from satellite imagery. When you touch the base you can scrub back and forward though the past 24 hours of images.

A can or bottle of an edible liquid that, when applied to skin, dries to a peelable scab-like consistency.

Mainstream? No, but the niche this hits it would hit HARD.

A) Delicate wig that is living chia, so bald guys can still grow ‘hair’ and also so you look like a chia pet B) a wig of fake chia, so you look like a chia pet but without the hassle

Basically debreaded corn dogs. I'm pretty sure a majority of hot dogs are precooked so nothing to fear there.

Could use the slogan "The first non-vegetarian Popsicle"

Could fit right in with the Live Laugh Love wall stickers.

It could also play "He's a phantom" from the intro whenever it's holstered. Kind of similar to the way the Mysterious Stranger from the Fallout games' revolver works.