this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
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Shitty Million Dollar Ideas

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This is a place to pitch goofy million dollar ideas that you had in the shower, as you were falling asleep, or during a fever dream. Think of it is as shitty Shark Tank.

The usual rules apply:

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A home automation device triggered by sneezes that says "bless you and "gesundheit" (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Kind of like a Google Home or Amazon Echo but instead of being triggered by something like "Hey Google" or "Alexa" it's triggered by sneezes. It's whole purpose would be to say things like "bless you" or whatever the regional response is to a sneeze

Of course it would have to be connected to the internet so that we can sell sneeze analytics to Amazon for targeted advertising.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Bless you / gesundheit originally was said to quickly bless the person so that the "demon" that had just escaped from the body (producing the sneeze, obviously, bc what other explanation could it possibly be!?:-P) could be prevented from re-entry. Maybe also from going into another nearby human?

So I think it would be funny if the AI would say rather something like (in Doom computer voice) "Demonic activity detected. Species analyzed: 99% probability of [succubus] presence. Deploying automated countermeasures. Further recommendation: deploy nuclear arsenal from orbit to eliminate all possibility of contagion spreading."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

no u

I did not want to input my email into any online resources, but if anyone wants to make a voice clip of this, I promise to think it is hilarious (probably):-)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Depending on your sneezing statistics, it should autobuy you tissues. We can sell this product to Kleenex.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

And connect to pollen count services so it can send hayfever medication if appropriate!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My bet is that it would be a non-trivial effort just to correctly identify sneezes. There is a ridiculously wide spectrum of sneeze sounds, all the way from the ol' "aaaAAAAAAH-CHOOOO!" dad sneeze to the cute little squeak that some women make. You might get the device blessing you after passing gas in a particular way. Could be good for a laugh. Especially if you have animals that make noises.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Maybe the response volume depends on how confident it thinks a sound is a sneeze

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Or maybe it becomes a question: "Bless you?"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sancho!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

The Wikipedia article linked in my post has a full list of them in a chart