Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ConditionFrequent253 on 2023-07-17 20:21:38+00:00.

So here's the situation, my neighbours were once both married to other people and had children with those people. However, they both have gotten divorced from those other people and were single for a long time. A couple years ago his daughter and her son met and got in a relationship together, the two got serious and before long they introduced their parents (so my neighbours) to each other. My neighbours fell in love as well and moved in to the house next to me. At the time I kept silent about the fact I found their relationship morally questionable because I didn't think it to be my place to interfere in their affairs. However, recently they announced their intention to get married (not just a ceremony of love, but an actual legal marriage, my country sees a difference between the two) and they announced they wanted to do a joint wedding with their children. Everyone aware of the full situation seems to think it's an amazing sentiment that the to couples who couldn't have existed without each other are getting married on the same day. I however, can only see that they are legally making their children siblings on the same day their children are getting married. I understand that you cannot control who you love, and I would have been fine with them doing a celebration of love (even a joint one), but the fact both couples are getting legally married I think is just morally wrong. When I voiced this opinion to my neighbours (in a private conversation, I didn't make a big scene) they got mad at me and said I was being ridiculous.

Was I?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Top-Occasion7006 on 2023-07-17 20:13:56+00:00.

I have been with my gf for a year and I invited her to my family gathering for the weekend. She is introverted but I thought she would interact with my family a lot more than she did. She spent time with them a little bit but she mostly was in her own corner when everyone was partying. I checked in on her from time to time for a few minutes, but I haven’t seen my family in a long time and so I spent most of my time with them. She said she’s fine with it and that’s she’s having a good time. Then after everyone packed up, I was tired and I just wanted to relax on my phone and went to sleep without spending time with her at the end of the day (we have different rooms and didn’t sleep together).

The next day was the same deal. I finally came to spend time with her in her room at night and then after a few minutes said I’ll be going back to relax in my room, even though she asked me to stay longer as she had barely some alone with me all day. She got upset at me for inviting her to my family’s place and not spending time with her at least at the end of the day. She said she doesn’t know these people and that she’s fine with me spending with them, but that she can’t be as involved with them because she just met them. She said she at least wants me to spend with her at the end of the day when everything is packed up and done. I told her I was sorry and that I love her and that I’ll try to spend more time with her.

However, this is an issue that has been reoccurring (she thinks I don’t text enough, don’t go out with her as much, etc) in our relationship. She thinks I don’t spend enough time with her and says that’s her love language. I have told her I am not romantic and not that sensitive so it’s hard for me to notice when she needs me.

So last night she went as far to say that she thinks we’re better off as friends because I don’t satisfy her as a boyfriend. I told her that I’ll work on spending more time with her and that it’s hard for me to show my feelings, but she said she’s hesitant to give me another chance after all the times of the same issue reoccurring. Today she’s not talking to me much and I asked her if she’s okay and she said she needs time to think.

I think she’s expecting too much from me, and not being forgiving. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TinyDependent7918 on 2023-07-17 19:19:28+00:00.

I(19f) had just come home from a Walmart trip with my mom(43f), I was feeling hungry so I decided to make some fries that we had just bought a bag of. they finished cooking so I got them out of the air fryer to put them on a plate and I heard mom in the living room say "please tell me you didn't just make the bag of fries that I got specifically to go with dinner" and I said that I had make some of the fries but that I was sorry because I didn't know they were for dinner. (I didnt eat the whole bag, just a portion of it)

Before we got to walmart she had told me that we'd have burgers for dinner, but didn't say anything about fries or even a side but I assumed we'd have a side of green beans or something we had at home because we've been struggling with money recently. Mom started yelling at me about how it's common sense that if we were having burgers then we'd have fries with them and that I was stupid for not knowing any better. I swore up and down that I didn't know they were for dinner because she usually tells me if something is off limits and/or specifically for dinner.

Am I wrong for not assuming they were for dinner? I'm audhd and have a hard time with what most people think is normal so I'm genuinely not sure if I'm in the wrong or not.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Platypus4935 on 2023-07-17 18:37:35+00:00.

My daughter is 21 years old and lives with me and her dad at home. She has just graduated from school with pretty good grades and she is currently working a full time job at a nursing home. She has always excelled at work and school getting lots of compliments from coworkers and bosses and teachers about her work ethic. She goes above and beyond in both settings. However the story is a little different at home.

Everywhere she walks she creates mess. I used to call her a walking disaster when she was younger because she has serious problems with keeping things clean. Her bathroom has clothes all over the floor and clutter on her sink, trash overflowing with honestly biohazards and shower and toilet has mold. Her room is another disaster. Dishes left in there for months with food still on it, clothes all over and everything goes on her floor so you can't can't walk across the room. She rewears all of her normal clothes for weeks but washes her scrubs weekly so I know she can do the work.

She complains that she has no energy but most people have no problem working and also cleaning and making food for themselves. She also says that she tries to clean but gets too overwhelmed or says she feels a weight keeping her down preventing her from doing things which sounds like an excuse. She also forgets things all the time and sometimes it feels like she has dementia because I have to remind her everything or else she will forget. Sometimes she can't even pay attention to a simple conversation long enough to understand us.

I told her she needs to see a doctor but honestly I just think these are excuses she is making to be a lazy ass. She keeps pushing off making an appointment and that seems like proof to me that she's making the whole thing up. No human being is this helpless. I don't know how she is going to survive on her own but I don't know what I did to make my daughter like this.

She got upset when I told her she just needed to pull up her bootstraps and stop being lazy but I think I'm in the right here. This is my house and I can't have the place in terrible condition anymore. I refuse to clean up after her because she needs to learn this lesson herself and not have to rely on mom. She has been like this her entire life and enough is enough.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TryingDad_00 on 2023-07-17 18:36:33+00:00.

So my daughter, who we’ll call “Jane” (28F), and I have always had a rocky relationship. I wasn’t the greatest father and I recognize that now but I’ve changed. I know everyone talks shit on religion based treatments but I know I’m saved now and no one can tell me different.

I was in a car accident where I lost a lot of feeling in my legs. After that I swear I was reborn as a new man and promised I would do better but after everybody else’s reactions I’m starting to feel like maybe I did do something wrong.

My daughter’s wedding was this past weekend and she had her brother walk her down the aisle. Which I was fine with because I mean I wasn’t really there for her as a kid so why would I give her way. I found out from my wife/her mom that she still planned on having a father daughter dance at her reception but have her father-in-law dance with her instead of me. I figured she didn’t ask me because while I can walk, I can’t walk far and I’m super unbalanced. So with the help of my wife I worked on strengthening my legs in secret so I could surprise her at her wedding and dance with her.

Fast forward to the reception and they announce it’s time for the dance. I roll my wheelchair to the edge of the group circling her, stand up, and start walking towards her. Everyone in the room started talking and clapping around me as I made my way across the dance floor and honestly I was feeling really good about this until I made it like six feet away from her.

She started shaking her head and frowning at me but I kept walking anyway. She started shouting No and telling me to sit down but I just couldn’t believe that she was saying this so I shouted back that I was coming to dance with her as her father.

She acted all irritated and said she’d dance with me later but now it’s FIL turn. I couldn't accept that so I got closer and reached out for her hand hoping she’d recognize I was doing this for her when FIL reached out and blocked me from her by putting his hand on my chest. So then this is where I might have fucked up. I told him to back the fuck up and fuck off. Our argument got pretty heated before some people stepped in and separated us. She told me to leave and I said if that’s what you really want and she said yes so I did.

I’m really struggling with this because I got a lot of dirty looks and even my son yelled at me. He’s said it was really selfish of me to try to dance with her at all. I’m trying to do better and listen to my kids so maybe you all can tell me, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fair-Rutabaga3011 on 2023-07-17 17:59:05+00:00.

I (22f) wear a size 34 in UK fashion which is very obviously plus sized. This is a 5XL or a 6XL in US sizes btw. I find it hard to buy clothes because of this, nowhere in main retailers sells my size and even some plus size stores don’t which means I have to pay a lot of money just for clothes to fit me, and to make sure they’re not cheap material. It’s honestly disgusting but that’s for another day hahaha don’t wanna start rambling here. But because of this, I’m very passionate about plus size fashion generally.

I don’t know if anybody has seen this but recently there’s been an internet trend of skinny people buying plus size clothes to modify it or to use the fabric for something else. I’m very against this, I believe that it’s hard enough for us to buy clothes already and it’s making it harder now.

My friend (19f) is one of those people who is doing this, she’s stick thin and looks borderline anorexic yet is doing this trend for her TikTok account. I saw it posted and I messaged her telling that plus size people have it hard enough trying to buy clothes and that this trend is very wasteful. She responded back saying that it’s not that deep and that it’s not her fault the fashion industry is like this. I told her she’s contributing to the problem regardless, and told me I’m being stuck up and that it’s just for a video. She’s then being ignoring my messages for the past 3 days and won’t tell me what I did wrong.

I guess I am feeling like the asshole because it is true she’s not responsible for the whole fashion industry, but she’s being wasteful on her own anyway. AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Advanced_Way_3957 on 2023-07-17 17:37:54+00:00.

TMI, but it definitely applies to the story I (22F) have endometriosis, so I have really heavy flow for 7-14 days most of the time & the back and abdominal cramps are EXCRUCIATING. So I was dealing with that on top of being sick; the back of my throat felt like I was swallowing glass, it felt like there was a lump on either side of my throat, I was constantly nauseous, my hearing was kind of muffled, when I was standing I felt dizzy & like my head was in a fish tank. I worked 40-50 hours both weeks managing a retail store, so I'm standing, walking around, & dealing with people at my job.

My boyfriend (25M) went the whole time without getting sick, so I guess he didn't believe me when I told him what I was experiencing. He said I was "just having allergies." I thought he was probably right since it's summer & people don't usually get sick until fall/winter. I took allergy medicine & advil for my period pain & toughed it out at work. He gets sick the day I start getting better & he just lays there moaning, groaning & literally starts crying saying "my throat hurts so bad. I'm dizzy & foggy, I don't think I can drive to the laundromat today" we don't have washer/dryer hookup in our apt, I had to work the next day, & I can't drive because of my anxiety so I was upset. I didn't let it get to me though. I just told him that I didn't appreciate that when I was sick he said it was just allergies & still expected me to go to work. He apologized.

That was on a Saturday. I ubered to & from the laudromat & did my clothes so they could be clean for work. I ubered to & from work Sunday bc he was still feeling "too bad to drive". He works Mon-Fri 9-5 at a desk job, and he can do all of it from home. Monday comes, I'm off, & he goes to the Dr's to see what's wrong with him. He came back negative for all the tests they did, but they gave him antibiotics & 4 days off work bc his temp was 100.4. I figured he'd be working from home, but he decided that he was going to use his PTO instead. That's when I finally lost it "really? You're gonna use your PTO for that?" He said "yeah, I already filled out the form for it, & emailed them my Dr's note." I said "wow I can't believe you. When I was sick you told me that I just had allergies, & had me cooking breakfast before I go to work where I'm up & moving around all day & potentially getting other people sick, then cooking for you when I get home, & you can't even work from home at a job you just sit on your ass all day? What a big baby I also was cleaning up the apt because you haven't in weeks, and I put together the furniture all while being in unimaginable pain from my period, but you're going to use your PTO that could've been used for a Vacation together?" He ignored everything I told him, said "I'm tired" went, laid down, & fell asleep. I'm fuming. Am I being an AH? Should I apologize when he wakes up?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Adept-Initiative-742 on 2023-07-17 16:20:51+00:00.

I (20F) have a best friend we’ll call her Layla (19F) and we are all in college together. Layla started having a new boyfriend named Leo (20F). It shocked me because Leo is very muscular and athletic, but Layla is chubby and pudgy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’m surprised. Meanwhile I want to be a model, so I’m thin and fit and maintain a strict regimen. I was a bit jealous of Layla for having someone like Leo with no effort, but I tried to ignore it.

I’ve started theorizing that Leo is dating her out of pity. Because anytime Layla complains about not being beautiful, Leo always says that she’s “thick” and “curvy” when she isn’t. Layla is just chubby, no curves nor a “thick” body. Just chub. Leo would also always invite Layla to work out with him since it’s a hobby of his and Layla has been interested in it. Im starting to think that Leo wants Layla to just lose weight.

I started texting Leo telling him not to pity Layla nor force her to lose weight. He didn’t respond but told Layla everything and she texted me asking if I really think this little of her and our friendship. Of course I don’t, I want to protect my friend. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Iamcomingforu on 2023-07-17 16:17:38+00:00.

I just quit summer school it was so stupid and school is not do anything for my particular future. I failed all of my classes in junior year and they wanted me to repeat but my mom like made me sign all these contracts that said if I got C in core classes I could pass to 12 grade. I signed it because my friend said summer school was just show up and pass but that isn’t how it was they wanted to see my work. I’m planning on being in entertainment and promotion so school is not for me. Anyways I quit today when the perv teacher accused me of using chat gpt or just to tell him what my essay meant he was just making me embarrassed. My mom graduated school and she’s just a nurse. Yeah that’s what I want is to clean up old people pee all day. So I quit.

She called me so many names including ungrateful asshole so here I am. AITA for quitting summer school?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/leapinglizzards10 on 2023-07-17 15:43:10+00:00.

I know I’m going to get judged heavily for this but here goes nothing. I (24F) have never gotten a drivers license. I have my permit which I’ve renewed in case I decide I might be ready to drive. Family has been pressuring me for several years since I was 18 to drive a car. I’d try to drive but I was simply terrified to do so. Recently I have been ready to drive until I received tragic news that a cousin of mine (20F) along with her best friends have all been killed in a car accident a month ago. My cousin was the driver. Not less than two weeks later, my brother (18M) got into a serious car crash. Thankfully he was not hurt but this shook me to the core as I could’ve lost him, too. I then made a vow to myself that I will never drive and that I wouldn’t mind catching an Uber or finding another source of transportation. I work from home so I don’t commute to work.

My aunt recently got into talking about cars and all of a sudden, she asks me if I will ever be ready to drive. I was really upset by this but I remained calm. I calmly told her that I don’t think I’ll ever drive ever since I lost my cousin and I could’ve lost my brother as well. They were both t boned, too. I am too afraid to get behind the wheel. My aunt laughed and my mom did as well.

Later, my mom expressed how upset she was and said that I am an adult and it’s ridiculous how an adult can’t drive. She also said that it’s incredibly inappropriate to use my cousins death as an excuse to not want to drive. I left in tears and my mom and I haven’t been speaking to each other.

Am I the asshole?

Edit: my brother is still living. He wasn’t hurt luckily.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Jordan6605 on 2023-07-17 08:29:27+00:00.

My best friend and I recently graduated and have the whole summer to ourselves. We agreed we'd do things like shopping and go to parks and have picnics because we've always wanted to. Before we couldn't because we were always worried about school and our strict families. Plus, now, I have a car and money from my job.

It's been a little over a month since we've graduated and I noticed she's been going out a lot with her own friends. It always made me feel a little left out because while we are best friends, we aren't the type of best friends that always need to be together. We're both mature enough to know that we're allowed to have our own friends. Up until now, it didn't make me feel as bad because I had my own friends. It started making me really sad lately because I don't have many friends anymore. After I graduated, I let go a lot of them because we started growing apart. I basically have 3 friends, not including my boyfriend, and I'm ok with it.

It only started bothering me a few minutes ago when I checked my best friend's private Instagram where she posted a picture of one of her close friends and her dated at a day ago, but she had bangs. For context, we work at the same elementary school. I saw her on Friday and she did not have bangs. This past Saturday, she was supposed to go to a pool party with me and my family but said she mixed up the dates and had to babysit her cousins. I didn't mind that she canceled and went about my day. In my mind, this means she canceled our plans to hang out with her friends.

I knew a lot of her friends because many of them I went to elementary school with. I don't know them personally now, but we are all definitely friendly and have no bad feelings towards each other. I don't think I've done anything to make any of them dislike me and if I did my best friend would tell me right away.

I feel like I'm overthinking it and that if I brought this up to her she wouldn't understand. I also feel like I might be overreacting because I recently started the pill and it could be messing with my emotions. She's allowed to have her own friends and I do not have the right to tell her what to do, but I also feel left out because i just went from having a big group of friends to three where none of the others can make plans (one lives states away and the other is busy planning her move for college). I'm just hurt from the idea she might've flaked on me to see other people. I feel lonely and like i did something wrong. WIBTA if I asked my best friend to include me more in her outings with her friends?