ADHD

Greetings, fellow ADHDers!

These last three years have been a shit show, that led to the simple conclusion: Medication sucks (for me).

I've been through at least 8 Non-Stims and 3 Stims. The only Medications that worked for me was Adderall (but the anxiety it induced was unbearable) and Straterra (but I'm of the lucky few who have Urinary side effects). My Psychiatrist tried to balance it out with Zoloft and other similar medications but the side effects whacked me out so hard, it resulted in a Misdiagnosis of Bipolar Type 2. (Two weeks after i stopped taking all meds, all side effects subsided and my emotional state stabilized.)

Now, Im terrified of Medication. A lower dose of Adderall would conceivably help, but I dont like the health risk its impact on my cardiovascular system could have, and I have a genetic history of heart disease.

In conclusion: Medication isn't for me, and I need some tips of managing symptoms and depression related to ADHD symptoms. Life is HARD.

Thank you

Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian

For the visually impaired, the images are a series of Twitter screenshots.

Full transcription of text below images.

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

TL:DR: When taking your ADHD meds (in my case atomoxetine) it's best to take them and eat a meal at the same time.

Storytime

This morning was the first time since I started my medication that I didn't eat with it because I normally eat right after I wake up and that's when I take my meds.

Instead this morning I took my medication then got prints off of my 3D printers, started preparing more prints for printing, and started one of them when suddenly I started feeling nauseous.

Like really nauseous.

Like shivering and sweating, nauseous.

I realized what was going on so I went and ate something small, soft, and easy to puke if things went further south.

Luckily the nausea has gone down quite a bit in the last hour so I was able to eat more but walking around is still pretty rough.

I might have to call out of work this evening but hey, at least I did this today on a work day and not tomorrow on my day off.

i'm pushing 40 and have only recently been given an informal diagnosis (seeking out a formal diagnosis currently) from my therapist of ADHD, so it's all new to me and changing the way i look at my behaviors and patterns. i've been thinking about this distinction between executive dysfunction and depression quite a bit lately and wanted to bring it to other folks who have a better grasp on how their ADHD impacts them and see if this resonates or if i'm maybe not hitting the mark.

i have two different things that i've always identified as 'depression', one that includes the sads, and one that doesn't but has the same low energy and inability to get anything done without external pressure to move me forward. the impact is very, very similar, but the feeling is very different. with the one that includes being sad, it's that sadness that's the driving force behind my inability to move. for the one that doesn't, it's just.... i don't know how to describe it, it's just an inability to get myself to take action.

i'm in the middle of an episode of the second one now. i find myself listless, bored but can't get myself to do anything about it, hungry but nothing sounds good when i think about the steps it takes to get it, and it's when my memory is the worst and i most often find myself misplacing things, unable to focus, or doing that thing that Hal does in that one Malcom in the Middle cold open when he goes to replace a lightbulb but is working on the car when Lois gets home. this doesn't feel like a good description, but that's how i feel about literally everything i do or talk about when i'm feeling like this, so i hope it's coming across ok.

does this sound like there's a differentiation between the two to ya'll? anyone feel similarly?

This is a paragraph from the book "Scattered Minds" by Gabor Mate

Was on 300xl for adhd and mood, saw it helped but felt 450xl would benefit more. The psych said 300 was the absolute max (I call bs, I know a lot of y’all are on 450 and even one guy on here is on 600!!) anyway, after I mentioned the different areas of my life it was helping in he agreed to do 200SR x2 a day.

To be frank im kinda excited, I’ve heard quite good things about the SR (for some it worked where the XL did not, or was energizing where the XL was not) and even taking it twice a day will work better for me in how I manage my day.

Hoping to hear positive experiences from others

Hi all.

I'll try and be succinct but as I'm sure you all realize that's often easier said than done.

I don't feel like I ever hear my fellow ADHDers discuss how negative an experience hyperfocusing can be.

First off, I never feel like I'm 'enjoying' myself when I hyperfocus. It feels a lot like I'm dreaming. Time moves weirdly, all my senses go askew, and it never feels like I'm in-control.

Then when the focus fades for whatever reason, I feel exhausted. I usually have a headache from the hours of intent concentration. Oftentimes I haven't eaten, had a drink or used the toilet. As I start to come out of it I often feel quite confused and borderline hungover.

It gives me such an existential crisis. An activity is either so boring I can't summon myself to engage with it or it's so absolutely engrossing that it feels like the activity is partaking of me rather than the reverse.

And when I come out of it, to an extent I do feel as if I've been consumed. I don't feel happy or satisfied or fulfilled. I feel tired, confused and uncomfortable.

Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any advice?

I'm having such a hard time finding adderral at pharmacies around me. Is there any alternatives that still work well for you? I'm about to have a follow up with my doctor. Might ask about alternatives. I'm on 20mg adderral XR.

I'm an hour early for the bus and trying to decide on what to eat so I can past the 2 hours until I get to the eating point. Can't decide what to eat. Too anxious. Dumplings, I'll eat dumplings. Something about using chopsticks I really enjoy.

Bus leaves in 30 minutes, the stop is 5 minutes walk away. I have my dumplings. Still so anxious. I arrive at the bus stop and eat my dumplings. Its now 15 minutes til the bus leaves, I'm exactly on time.

Finally some relief when I'm sitting in the bus checked in and ready to go.

I'm going on holiday to ride mountain bikes for 5 days. I should be excited.

Anyone else gets this?

Like the title says, I am burned out.

Im a 45 year old American male and I don’t even know if I have a formal diagnosis yet. I am currently working with my primary care provider and am seeing a therapist that claims she is a specialist in adult ADHD and it has been months.

I remember as a youngster that my mom took me to the doc for hyperactivity somewhere around 2nd or 3rd grade. Somewhere around 1985 or 1986. That doc said I had ADD but it was probably cause by a sensitivity to “red food dye”. “Don’t let him eat red food and he will be fine”.

It wasn’t fine.

A few years back i was diagnosed with GAD and Depression and was given medication for those which helped me for a short time with depression stuff but didn’t do anything for the root of the problem.

I moved across the country and started working with my current doc and he prescribed Wellbutrin for my depression and said it’s also prescribed for ADHD. It wasn’t doing anything for the depression and I’ve since stopped all meds and now am working with this therapist.

Therapy is going well enough dealing with trauma and those things. But we aren’t doing anything with my ADHD which is my biggest problem.

I can’t focus at work. Executive function is gone and has been for a long time. Every day for like over 2 years is complete task paralysis.

My wife and I use this analogy about spoons to discuss mental capacity for life. Everybody has a certain amount of spoons in their drawer. Tasks and thoughts use up spoons throughout the day. Once the drawer is empty, there’s no more to give until you was some dishes and replenish (nap or a nights sleep or something).

Well I’m out of fuckin spoons and every time I check the drawer there are fewer and fewer spoons to work with.

I really hope there is a path to something resembling “better” because I do t know how much more of this I can take”.

Except I usually would crawl out of bed earlier just to be sure and I'd still barely make it by 3.

I started out real good, but dinner is popcorn, diet coke and peanut butter mnms

As much a I loathe the phone, and have such terrible success rate at getting what I want via phone conversation to major corporations, when something is not right I will waste hours (on hold mostly) as they pass me around department to department hoping I'll give up. Jokes on them because I won't give up. But ultimately jokes on me because they literally won't care.

Participate in a study that looks at developing needs assessment plans for self-management of ADHD. This is run by someone with ADHD who is doing funded, academic research that has real outcomes and is done in collaboration with the people it is for. The study has had a full ethics review.

To be clear: this isn't my study but the researcher will know it's posted here and will see the comments on this post.

I’ve been on Concerta 27mg (started at 18mg) for about 2 months now, and I’ll admit, I feel like I could be taking sugar pills. I’ve been told by my GP that I should just wait a little longer before upping the dosage, though I’m not even sure how much of an effect that might have.

I’m still unable to point my focus at anything, and my working memory is just as crap as ever. (Even tried to empirically measure how often I lose things… still at least once a day!)

Did you have an obvious lightbulb moment of some feeling, after starting meds?

I'm fairly suspect that I've likely got ADHD and/or mild depression and I don't know if ones causing symptoms of the other or if im personally misatributing symptoms here and I want to know how to go about changing this in the best way possible.

The NHS is a wonderful service but unfortunately it's run by the British so it's horrifically overworked and often mismanaged and my area is no exception to the rule.

Mental and physical health services in my area are under funded, under staffed and overworked which means I can't even speak to a GP about my concerns and I worry I won't be taken seriously or brushed aside as a low criticality case. Not to mention all the testimonys from people about GPs not taking adult ADHD seriously assuming they even believe ADHD exists. (See the state of gender health and trans healthcare for an excellent example of a a broken system).

However something (whatever it is) is affecting my life and although I absolutely don't feel like self harm or suicide, etc, I'd very much like something to change.

What are my options here? I've heard people talk about private healthcare but I'm in no position to afford this.

I'd very much appreciate the help from anyone whose been in my position and would desperately want to listen to your stories too.

Thank you!