ADHD

I'm not presently working but I trained, and worked as, a software developer. I struggle a lot with work and my working life has been very chaotic due to shit mental health. It seems like a really stupid idea, as being a chef is meant to be really stressful. However, the idea of it being fast-paced, immediate, physical, intense, sensory seems really really appealing to me.

I'm sorry if this isn't a lot of information to go on. I'm trying to reduce details, partly for privacy's sake, partly because if I don't wind myself-in this could be a novel long.

I'm currently being diagnosed for ADHD (i probably have it but i still need the confirmation from my therapist), and I was wondering if you have problems being consistent with physical activities.

I always start very confident and very excited, but after a couple of weekend the thing dies down.

Even if I force myself to pay and go to the gym, I often don't reach the end of the subscription and quit.

This is also a problem with home exercises, running, hiking...

A two+ hour drive would really take it out of me. I would often have to stop and have a 10 minute nap.

I've found meds have really helped, I still feel tired, but I don't have to sleep afterwards or take naps.

Same with riding motorbike, but double. I think it's the intense concentration for long periods of time.

I'm so overwhelmed with all the stuff I have to do and also don't have accountability at work and it's making it worse. Anyone want to be accountability buddies? Spend a moment every week getting to know each other enough to hold each other accountable and maybe send the occasional uplifting message?

I’ve been diagnosed for a couple years, and my husband just received his official diagnosis. His brother is saying things like “ADHD is over diagnosed these days, since your doctor is a specialist he might just be handing out diagnoses” and “just make sure you rely more on the therapy than meds because the meds are harder to come back from” (???), and “everyone has ADHD these days thanks to the internet”.

He’s not intentionally an asshole, he just knows nothing about ADHD. He doesn’t understand how extensively it impacts our entire lives, not just our attention spans. My husband is planning to sit down with his brother to go over the official report, but with how resistant he is to this I’m wondering if y’all have any good additional resources for correcting these harmful ADHD myths.

Hi, as the title says I'm a new developer and some days ago I was diagnosed. My diagnose journey started because I'm unable to be consistent (That's not something new) and it is making me really depressed.

I just spend all day doing nothing and some day I just write most of what I have should written. Some days I force myself to code just to see all letters as blurry meaningless symbols and then I come back to square one where I procrastinate. Now I'm working from home, but when I go to office this gets 10 times worse.

I will be making an appointment to get medications soon, but does anyone have some additional ways to fight this?

EDIT: Thanks everyone that responded the call for help! To people that resonate with this post, please read these comments, all of them are really useful.

Update: All this post started because of a deadline i was having serious problems to reach.

If you are in the same spot as a new dev: What happened to me was that I was facing a really complex issue in which we lacked a lot of information and when I started to ask some key questions everything started to flow again, my main blocker was communication.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I should have focused on understanding rather than trying to solve.

Hi, I’m 46 years old and have had a diagnosis since childhood ( was call add then). And without getting to much into it have had many challenges throughout my life. I’m in a good place now where my own Strahles coupled with therapy and medication help me manage things. Up until very recently i felt like this was something to overcome with willpower but now I’m more like this is a storm I just need to ride along with an do my best. I work in software development and in my current job I’m ramping up to take on a lot more responsibilities and leadership. I’ll be dealing with people alot more as a result and I basically am looking for advice on what to do in those moments when I recognize I’m being too “much” without just having to explain that I’m neurodivergent or that I have ADHD. i know I can meet the expectations set in front of me i’m just looking to see how to smooth over the rough patches.

Hi,

I am coming here seeking advice. I am 21, studying and am currently doing an internship. But it's not going well. I am struggling so much with getting disctracted and watching youtube. Even though i often do want to do someting, i often don't do anything except watch youtube. When i do actually do something it's often not what i need to do. It's getting really tiring and i just want to be able to do the shit i want and need to do. I often watch youtube to have some sound, but i can't turn it off after, it is also often the same with listening to podcasts. Often when i try to improve it only works for about a week and then i fall back into my same habbits. Do many of you struggle with this, and what do you do about it?

My recommendation is a small thing: a trashcan with a swinging lid!

Covers the trash, reduces smells, will prevent trash tetris (sometimes), and very good instead of foot-pedal opening trash cans or trash cans put in a cupboard.

Another thing are toothbrush holders that stick to mirrors. Might jog that memory of needing to brush your teeth!

Wall-mounted keyholder by your door, too. Anything I put on a flat surface will eventually be lost or covered with more junk & papers. My keys are WALL-ONLY!!!

What item(s) have helped you with your struggles?

I'm so tired the caffeine no longer effects me. My ADHD issues are worse. It's effecting work. I'm getting to work waiting to clock in and sleeping in the parking lot.

I get home and will be tired but by the time I get myself fed and everything cleaned up and the dog and cat cared for and in bed (skipping showers or washing my teeth or brushing my hair most nights) I can't seem to fall asleep regardless of the exhaustion.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel but it's two weeks away. And I used to work harder and longer hours. I worked in theatre and events and tech was some of the longest days for a week or two straight so I feel like I should be prepared for this. But apparently I'm out of practice or I'm no longer able to cope like I used to.

At this point whether it's the ADHD or age making it harder no longer matters I just need tips for surviving until life lets up.

I've realised this is something I drastically need to implement into my life. I've had minor successes with meditation in the past but it never really sticks. I'm not great at sitting still and I also have back issues so struggle to sit up straight for long periods.

So I'm wondering if you do any mindfulness practices, what has worked for you?

Just a sanity check here but... yall ever been mid conversation with someone and confused that they've forgotten a thing you talked about... until you realize that previous conversation took place entirely in your head?

I was formally diagnosed with ADHD in February, so am still very much finding my way, with medication helping a lot with my work life. However, my first child was born near the tail end of last year and boy did I not expect how debilitating things would be. I love being a dad, I love my kid so much it hurts, but any time I'm home with her around I end up in a hyper focus kind of state trying to keep her out of trouble (she's very, very active). Even with her sleeping through the night, I have to get up at around 4.30 every morning for an 8am start, 10 minutes away, otherwise everything ends up in a shambles, usually with me forgetting to eat breakfast, or take lunch, or my meds, or me a grown man ending up in tears because of the pressure to get ready for the day, which is not something I'd ever experienced before. The worst bit is makes it that much harder to properly enjoy the moments with her. Being a parent is hard enough as is, but this is really something else.

Hi, I’m Hunter Perrin. I created an email service called Port87.

I have ADHD, and keeping my email organized has always been a struggle. Three years ago, I started using a new organization strategy for my email where I’d add plus tags and use filters to move them into labels, “hperrin+whatever@gmail”. This worked for a few months until I got lazy and stopped creating the filters. Then my inbox slowly became just as messy as before.

So I spent the last two years writing my own email service that does it automatically. You can’t even use your address without a label. Everything is organized based on the address you give out, so I have an address for everything.

Anyway, I wanted to share this with you guys. It’s my experience of using my own email service. Obviously, I’m biased, but I still think it’s a valid take on the struggles of email organization with ADHD. If nothing else, maybe the plus tag system can help you out with your current email provider. :)

God I am miserable. I am in charge of managing some several thousand video recordings as well as making sure my notes on them are accurate (date time and number of clips).

Really wishing I had not simply written down those things on whatever paper I had at the time. Going back and trying to figure it out is not fun. Someone save me from myself and my incompetence.

I know it's common we ADHD peeps tend to be constantly switching docs/psychs. I have been on SSRIs for more than 10 years now and don't know if my issues are due to untreated ADHD.

My previous 2 psychs haven't been that helpful.

I was going through a rough patch after trying Stimulants, and the doc started mentioning that I was extremely depressed, and that maybe I should consider a mental health institution. I commented multiple times that I felt anxiety and stress was my issue but she disagreed, but still tried to put me on Seroquel off label, which I never took.

I felt that my psych was treating me like a child, telling me similar stuff to "man up, grab the bull by the horns" etc.

I started seeing my current therapist due to feelings that my psychiatrist was exhausted from dealing with me.

Current therapist doesn't even see me for more than 20 mins, I am never able to ask enough questions or list my symptoms. I also had issues with her due to not refilling my prescription for multiple days even after calling her.

I'm currently on vortioxetine 20mg and gabapentin for "sleep". Current psych mentioned I might give guanfacine a try.

I don't know, i feel I should look for a new psychiatrist, maybe someone that specializes in ADHD? Or am I just overthinking and I'm the one at fault and not "listening" to the doctors?

I have ADHD and my partner does not. When we were planning our wedding it was really difficult because she would do most of the planning (because I wasn't doing it and someone had to and she loves planning), but when we needed to plan anything together it was like pulling teeth for me. I wanted to help out but it was always so difficult to get myself to actually do anything.

The same thing happens with vacation planning. Even planning a trip to somewhere I want to go can feel about as fun as doing taxes. We're currently trying to plan a trip overseas that's just in a few months, and my partner really wants to book hotels (I totally agree) but any amount of planning feels like I'm being punished, and I don't know why. I don't have any fun and my mood tanks and I just get quiet and a little irritable.

Anyone else experience this and have any suggestions? I hate leaving all of the planning to my partner, but planning on my schedule has lead to us missing things in the past.

Random thoughts, feel free to ignore: I wonder if it's partly because it's not urgent (as in what we could plan today could just as easily be planned tomorrow) vs importance thing? If we planned on "my schedule" we'd be doing things way too close to the actual date. If we set a date to vacation plan, when it comes I just treat it like a todo list item I just need to finish up so I can get back to whatever I want to do instead.

Okay, so this is weird.

I seriously don't do loud environments. My speech discrimination goes to shit with a bunch of background noise, and if I get into overly-spiky crowd noise (eg. loud bars / parties, with everyone yelling over each other and echoing off the walls), I rapidly overload and need to GTFO before I break down.

So why in the purple fuck is frantic glitchy breakcore the most soothing thing in the universe?

I've been listening to stuff like femtanyl recently, and the more IYTGKIUFUYGLICGXJYUGJTYUFLIHFUYGKJKHJGHYTFTJGHFDYGFDJHCHTRF it gets, the more it feels like my brain is sinking into a warm bath. It's like brown noise, but moreso.

Tha heck is going on?

Anyone relate?

Hi. I have been wondering how to get an assessment for neurodivergence as I seem to struggle with some day-to-day things. I seem to relate to a lot of memes from the adhd and autism communities. I also seem to have a good amount of traits that overlap with autism and adhd.

How did you get your diagnosis? Do you have any advice regarding obtaining an assessment?

I just started meds for the first time (Focalin XR). I'm on day 2 and it has been great so far as while I am on them I can actually choose what I want to focus on.

It is a total game changer - stressed about stuff that I have to do in 3 days and feeling like I'm going to spiral out of control into a pit of anxiety and misery? Nope, I'll just focus on what I'm doing today and know that I can take care of that when it is time to do so. I was even able to go to multiple stores and places that would normally overstimulate me and stress me out without any issues.

The first downside I have noticed happened today - when I get hungry I get REALLY hungry and really irritated - extreme hangry. I had read that stimulants normally suppress appetite but that when you come off of them the appetite catches up and you can get really hungry. Apparently that happens to me so I'm going to have to be careful about that and maybe make sure I have a meal planned around the time that they will wear off.

Anybody else have that experience? Or any other interesting experiences about being on meds?

I understand that I have to relax every now and then, however I am really struggling with it, being constantly in an endless loop of:

1. Having a lot of energy and doing a bunch of stuff for a couple of weeks.
2. Getting exhausted to the point I cannot control my impulsions and wreck my daily routine
3. Try to rest only to fall in a depressive state for a couple of weeks.
4. Collect myself up and repeat from step 1.

Trying to do low effort activities like watching a series or playing video games, is addictive, I stay up late without being able to stop, and end up more tired.

The hobbies I like require focus, and that's what I am trying to avoid. Examples include programming and chess.

Going out with friends is nice but drains my social energy, after a couple of weekends out I need to stay in.

Chores sometimes work, but other times I feel guilty about the state of cleanliness of my home.

So, how do you relax/rest? Got a magic recipe? Are you struggling like me?

Edit: I just want to say this community is awesome, thanks for the support.

This week mine was homemade soda. Fermented sodas, citric acid + bicarbonate sodas, different juices and flavors like lime + lemon + cherry and pomegranate or mango peach or cola (homemade knock off)

I've only just recently commenced medication and I'm finding the benefits a little noticeable. The real test will be returning to work soon after some leave.

I'm interested in how people store their medication on their person whilst on the go.

My job has me out of the office regularly, sometimes for extended periods of time. I'd like to keep two doses on me should I need them, but I'm concerned about not misplacing them.

Any recommendations?