In college a few years ago, I decided to spend that time building up a foundation of beliefs and philosophy while my brain finished developing that would serve me for the rest of my life. This focus on self-improvement led to less mental energy spent on other people.
I think this has given some the impression that I’m a little narcissistic, but I’ve been pretty good at avoiding overconfidence. I’ve long considered myself self-absorbed but not self-centered, focussing on myself but only so I can be a better person than I’ve been.
Last Friday I realized that at some point I moved from one to the other. I stopped listening and started waiting to get conversations over with, only wondering what I was going to need to do for them. I stopped growing because I ran out out of things I had thought of that I had a reason to learn.
I don’t like being like this. I am trying to shift from a “what do I need to do?” attitude to a “what do others need that I can help with?” Any advice?
Eric Flint wrote it. I don’t think I made it clear, but know that it’s a piece of fiction where a coal mining town from Virginia gets sent back in time to 1632 German Thuringia and brings American values to the Thirty Years War. It was written by a historian though, so the setting around the story is as accurate as it could be. A lot of the book has aged not so great in terms of what was progressive for the 90’s when it was written, but the premise is out there enough to make up for it, and I really enjoyed how the history is portrayed.