isaaclyman

Mosquito baiting

Ugh, I don’t know about you but the amount of work I put into being a “good exmormon” and not playing into all the stereotypes and stories they tell about us, if only for the sake of proving them wrong, is ridiculous.

I left Mormonism in 2020. Took me a while to fully extricate myself, but coffee was right at the top of my to-do list. My whole life I’ve slowed down while passing the coffee aisle so I can take a whiff.

I think my first drink was a latte from a local chain, no sugar. There wasn’t any “acquired taste” period, I dug it from the first sip. And that was that.

I don’t like any sweetness in my coffee at all. When I make it at home I take it black. I drink decaf, usually, because caffeine is a troublesome molecule for me. There’s a shop not far from here that makes an incredible cup of decaf—smooth, mild, neither sour nor bitter.

Thanks for the tip about decaf beans being mechanically different from regular beans. For some reason, after years of watching James Hoffmann videos, that never occurred to me. I’ve been gradually dialing in my brewing process and taking that into account might be the next step.

Not OP, but I highly recommend Cryptograms as a word puzzle you can do on paper if you’re trying to get off your phone for a while (I bought a book of 500 and it’s been great). The learning curve isn’t too intense, and each puzzle is different enough from the last that they don’t lose their challenge over time.

I’m also the creator of an app called Sootly, if you’re looking for a deeply stressful game of word guessing and deductive logic. It’s a free app with no ads, for the record, so no motive of financial gain here.

Is Unreal worse than Unity? I’ve only ever heard people complain about the latter

I wish you would be friends with me instead

You got me. Mastercard: the credit card for neurodivergents, assholes, and everything in between

Hey that’s valid! A good friend of mine has the exact same thing. He’s up front about it, he apologizes when it’s excessive, and he’s more than happy to explain why it’s difficult for him. It’s just a thing, and if I’m going to be his friend, that means accepting it about him.

In other words, he’s done his best to help me understand him. Now it’s my turn to not be an asshole.

I think (hope) most people can tell the difference between symptoms of atypical neurology (lateness, awkwardness, forgetfulness, zoning out et al) and hurtful/abusive/controlling behavior. And if they can’t, they’re just not our people. That’s a whole different Venn diagram though

Well said and point well taken.

I always encourage people to communicate, gently and clearly, what the other person did that was hurtful. I have so much empathy for people who are clueless (hi, hello, it’s me). But no empathy at all for people who callously, intentionally harass and hurt others.

This is valid criticism and I’m going to sit with it.

All the same, most of the (adult) autistic folks I’ve known in my life have been quick to apologize and take responsibility, even when other peoples’ reactions don’t make sense to them.

Or a simple, “hey, that was rude. It hurt my feelings.” Most of the ND people I know would respond, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be a jerk. I’ll do better.”