Vladkar

One is a goofy pop culture icon from the early 2000s with a reputation for kindness and professionalism, and the other is Ellen DeGeneres.

As a software engineer on the hunt for a new job, it seems like every company hiring right now is one of three things:

• Evil Distopian Nightmare Corporation
• Same, But Also Makes Weapons
• AI Startup Named "Jilquetoast"

Watch out, they might "prank" you by tormenting a homeless person or something

I long to be out there, with my brothers, waging war against the Empire

Oh hi Mark 1:15

A warrior's drink

How I look in the mirror ☝️

How I look in photos:

As long as the slugs are slowly loaded manually by a bunch of servitors.

If strapping tank treads to a church isn't peak military competence, I don't know what is.

I'm currently reading The Expanse, and at one point a character mentions checking in on the family aggregator his cousin set up to help everyone keep track of who's living where.

Dude spun up a private Lemmy instance for his family. The future is now!

Nah, that's too realistic for The Onion. It needs to be something like, 'Pandemonium Ensues After Trump Utters First Coherent Sentence.'