Is that Callisto down there? π€
RiikkaTheIcePrincess
What's this from?
Cold and lonely. Ran out of my main anti-hypertensive+anti-anxiety med, now there's nothing keeping my blood pressure high (as opposed to extremely high) unless I can smoke enough weed to do that. I don't really like it enough to try very hard π€· Had some kinda emotional crash thing last night, figured out I'm afraid to exist. Especially without an easy way out it feels like a terrifying commitment I'm not ready for. Sounds odd I guess but I don't pretend to be okay π€·
Also, Minnesota's medicaid stuff is ass-garbage. Just gimme a website where I can poke the buttons and get everything done instantly. Oklahoma managed it. Somehow here it takes months and a bunch of bullshit snail mail and phone calls and I still don't have it fully set up (prescription coverage fuckingplease?!?) Grrrr!
Did I mention "cold and lonely?" Dunno if I'm even capable of feeling close to anycritter any more but bleeeh it hurts to not have anycritter I feel like I can yap at.
Anyway, back to days of daze. sarcastic "Wheee"
That's horrifying! I hope you're okay!
Aaahhh, this is horrifying! You've ruined my breakfast π
Rain and cool are nice :3 My attic gets soooooper stuffy so I've been liking that this place has decided to be Seattle for a little while π Rain, rain, every day @.@ π§ I like storms and rain in general, though :3 At least, while sheltered I do.
So what is that movie, LotR Empire Strikes back? π Reverse Return of the Jedi? ... Dunno why LotR is Star Wars now but I just woke up so I'm probably a little weird π
Hey you! Hi! :3 π!
Also 90+ is horrifying π I'm Minnesotan now so a humid 66Β°F apparently feels hot to me now π 70ish seems to be the usual beginning of discomforty warmness. Is'pose I wanted to become a cooler-temperature critter, just didn't think it was gonna happen quite this way I guess π New family and I just finished the second movie (extended edition for both, Ithink) recentlish so that's sortof a thing we're doing too. Not in theatre, though :3
Very strangely, home life is going great. I've joined a new family! Last one friggin' tried to kill me and did a piss-poor job of raising me, so having one where people talk to me and I can speak my mind and ask questions and they actually maybe even care about my life, rather than just trying to push me to make my life what they want and screw how I feel, basic decency, any kind of respect... Three decades is too long to keep treating someone like a misbehaving child! Anyway I've got a new name to wear, if I want π€ Idunno what the others with that name think about that, nor quite exactly how I feel π€ Hmmifications!
Went out to an extended-family partyish thingle just now. Got an odd Long Island Iced Tea! It was sour. That was odd. I liked it, though. Tried to get a Mai Tai but they didn't have something(s) they needed for it π Tried to save some of the burger and tots for later but then I accidentally ate them all @.@ Was good :3
Adulting-life isn't so hot but hopefully it'll work out. Some like... paperworky governmenty crap to deal with, accidentally fuxxored up a money transfer and it's in the wrong bank and bleeegh that'll take a minute to fix. Gotta figure out income and get my head checked and fixed and also possibly find out what if anything is wrong with my liver π Gotta wait for more paperwork before I can do that, though. Too much paper up here π€
Online/personal-quiet-???-life is... sadness. Apparently everycritter just assumes that what I need is to be left out in the cold like nobody notices or cares that I'm missing, or why, or anything. Depressness. I hope some day I'll have some healthy relationships and get to feel like I matter. Head's busted, though. Hard enough to properly feel anything, then there are messes and problems and glitches and on top of that there's the fact that hunams are very strange and I don't belong on this planet :|
It's kinda sickening to come back to my computer and just be like "Oh, right, I ran away 'cause nobody gives a shit and now I'm upset 'cause nobody gives a shit. Nothing left to do but sit around alone and dwell on my loneliness."
frusses noisily :-\
So that's where I'm at. Up here in my attic, sadness. Downstairs, new fam. Downstairs even more, phonecalls and other stress in the basement π π€·
Also, maybe run in local elections. Apparently many trash people continually get reelected because they have literally no opposition. Could do some good for some people at least :-\
The points game is disgusting. I wish people would stop with the team sports BS and realize they're playing games with all of our lives.
Wow, you're fluffing adorable :O π»