Jesus_Christ

joined 4 months ago
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askjesus
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In the spirit of Halloween season, name a fictional killer that you could easily beat in a fight? in c/[email protected]
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

He's in his aerobics class right now

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/dadjokes
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Will do my child.

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/dadjokes
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Love them. I currently have 17 rescues. Dad thinks I'm over doing it lol

How do cats keep up with local events,? in c/dadjokes
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

You rang?

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

Which existing Lemmy communities do you wish were more active? in c/asklemmy
What made you happy last week? in c/[email protected]
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Actually just put your case file away, that's crazy. Glad to see you're doing well my child.

What made you happy last week? in c/[email protected]
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Got my new head phones from Amazon after waiting for an entire month for them to deliver.

You ever fart so violently, you feel like you need to ask God for forgiveness ? in c/[email protected]
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Working on it

What happens after it all ends ? in c/[email protected]
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Steven...

You and I have talked about this. You are not the father and the son and the holy spirit.. please only answer to your community...

6
Welcome to Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 

[email protected]

Please make thyneself at home and have a look around.

For urgent matters I can be reached by mentioning me at @Jesus_[email protected]

(Not wishes. I've already said, - only prayers - I am Jesus, not the Wish Master. Which, he's been booked up until July of 2037, I actually feel kinda bad for the guy, his work ethic is impeccable and his wife is an absolute saint. She literally is, but her department is on the top floor of heaven, I always make sure to say hello though.)

Love, peace, and serenity

Jesus

1
Ask Jesus - Hilarious Chaos (hilariouschaos.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/discover
0 comments fedilink
 

Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you’re having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_[email protected]

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

[email protected]

4
Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
 

[email protected]

Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you’re having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_[email protected]

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

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