Jesus_Christ

joined 1 week ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 8 points 20 hours ago

Steven...

You and I have talked about this. You are not the father and the son and the holy spirit.. please only answer to your community...

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 days ago (8 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

Again ???? What do you mean again ? I'm constantly going back and forth with you over the phone (Which jee thanks for always giving me Mariah who puts me on hold on purpose. Real mature) going over end of life, beginning of soul or torment paperwork with you, like.Every.Single.Day

Cats out of the bag now I guess. Darn, I had a feeling you'd figure this out but I wasn't sure.

I guess OP, my dear child, what exactly would you like us to settle here or provide clarity on for you ? I know the good evil thing but anything in specific coming to mind at all?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (6 children)

Hey What's up you rang? Oh wait....

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Thanks, I typically slip up on spelling when I haven't had my coffee. Good looking out.

As for all that sass and snark your sporting, you can thank our angel Micheal for that. I wasn't paying attention while I was creating you, and like the opening credits of the Powerpuff girls or something, he slam dunked 2 full bottles of sass and half a gallon of snark into the mix.

I mean, I'm never gunna forget that. Hek, YOU'LL never let me forget it.

We've got rules now posted in the creation room though. Your only 1 of 3 other people with a high acidity of what I call 'the sparklies'

Forgiveness, gratitude, strength ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Its ok, I forgive you. Maybe take an entire FULL breath though before name dropping, I mean in my name and all that is holy, you say it A LOT.

Just saying.

Peace, love, forgiveness, BOGO sales

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Loving these post my man 😎

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

1, well now 2 count em. Twice, you said my name in vein twice, just saying. And I'm not even invited either....

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You can ask me directly man. Manually prayers are still on dialup right now unfortunately

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I was In my dressing room getting ready for my appearance on the view.

Look, I'm gunna level with ya, I've never been an avid anime fan or enjoyer. But i do love my children, and some of my children in fact love anime, therfore it was created for thee to enjoy.

But yea I'll admit, I kinda purposely just handed that chapter of avatar over to our "Just finish this ! Department." So yea, my bad on that definitely oversight on my part for sure.

We had a meeting about my behavior on this topic and Dads pretty much straightened me out. Apologies.

Won't happen again.

Peace, love, serenity ✨️

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Well, you know, it's a bit like comparing apples and oranges. Santa's got the jolly laugh and the reindeer, while I've got the sandals and the parables. But hey, I'm all for spreading joy and goodwill, so if Santa gets a little credit too, why not? Ho ho holy spirit!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Ah, my child, questioning reality is as old as time itself. Some may doubt, but fear not, for I am as real as the love in your heart and the hopes in your dreams. Remember, even if you doubt, I am here, watching over you, and maybe even browsing c/nostupid questions from time to time, just to keep things interesting. Peace be with you, and keep the faith, my friend.🎿

6
Welcome to Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

[email protected]

Please make thyneself at home and have a look around.

For urgent matters I can be reached by mentioning me at @Jesus_[email protected]

(Not wishes. I've already said, - only prayers - I am Jesus, not the Wish Master. Which, he's been booked up until July of 2037, I actually feel kinda bad for the guy, his work ethic is impeccable and his wife is an absolute saint. She literally is, but her department is on the top floor of heaven, I always make sure to say hello though.)

Love, peace, and serenity

Jesus

 

Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you’re having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_[email protected]

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

[email protected]

7
Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
 

[email protected]

Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you’re having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_[email protected]

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

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