this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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[–] macbayne82 39 points 1 year ago

How... adorrible.

[–] BallShapedMan 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh my gosh he's just so cute! This is why we need Gene editing. Screw long life and super intelligence, I want spider turtle!!!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is too far. It’s just plain heathenistic.

Everybody’s worried about sharks or drop bears or pit bulls… Spider turtle related concussions would be through the roof.

We’d have to wear hard hats in the forest. They’d be dropping out of trees, bonking us on the heads like coconuts.

You’d be trying to go to sleep, but your back hurts, like there’s a knot in it. Nope, you’re lying on top of a spider turtle. It’s shell has been giving you back problems for weeks!!

Imagine… just imagine finding one in the toilet at 2 am. You’d feel way too guilty to pee on it & you’d have to use the other bathroom.

You see cute. I see cold floors & a long, lonely distance with a full bladder… terrifying.

[–] BallShapedMan 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

🤣🤣🤣

I think you just came up with a fantastic writing prompt for a short story!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

If anything develops into a screenplay, I want an EP credit 😉

[–] CIA_chatbot 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yea this is going into my next dnd campaign

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

HP Lovecraft would be proud!

[–] Makeitstop 3 points 1 year ago

Gonna make this the animal companion for my Drowid.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It’s the next evolutionary step, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No. The next step are wings. Imagine flying spiders. 😍

[–] nefurious_krankstar 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

1 unkillable flying turtle spider for you

1000013501

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Evolution, baby! 😁

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Deploying automated persistent AI-directed free electron laser botswarms now

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It can only be defeated by the crab-turtle-spider - the final step in evolution!

[–] nefurious_krankstar 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

o no he looks so sad he has got low self esteem 1000013502

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

*low shellf esteem.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

We've got these already, called a coconut crab, and it's not unlikely that they killed and ate Amelia Earheart.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/coconut-crabs-eat-everything-from-kittens-to-maybe-amelia-earhart-180948206/

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I think I found my new favorite starter Pokémon.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This is just a (very cute) crab with not many extra steps.

Carcinization is an example of a phenomenon called convergent evolution, which is when different groups independently evolve the same traits. It's the same reason both bats and birds have wings.

[–] Something_Complex 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And there are soooo many of those that ends up in crabs that some evolution cientists joke that we all will end up in the perfect shape.

A crab shape

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

We are all but mere stepping stones of our species glorious path of evolving into crabs.

[–] Usernameblankface 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh no. No, we do not need an armored spider

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

It will have a mana bar next.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

This creature’s existence is what brings about the creation of hand-held linear particle accelerators (HLPAs), and the nature of warfare is forever changed.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

OMG I WANT IT.

[–] kewwwi 4 points 1 year ago

the spirtle

[–] LotrOrc 2 points 1 year ago

You just ruined a perfectly good turtle