this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Not The Onion

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Earlier this year, the US Food and Drug Administration gave Neuralink, which Musk cofounded in 2016, approval to launch human trials of its device that Musk has described as a "Fitbit in your skull." The FDA had previously rejected Neuralink's bid for human testing in March over safety concerns, Reuters reported, including that the wires connected to the brain chip could move within a subject's head or that the chip could overheat.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I can see 2024 headlines: "Neuralink test subjects try to crash into pedestrians or blow up before reaching space. Workers implanted the wrong chips due to time pressure from the CEO"

[–] Treczoks 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

AKA thousands of people are so terminally stupid that even such an implant cannot cause any damage to already f-uped brain remains.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Didn’t realize so many people have already had lobotomies.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Man I'd love to get this if literally anyone else was behind it, I always wanted to be a cyborg.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The best part of ShadowRun's dystopian future: the cyberware.

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[–] CheeseNoodle 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The moment this becomes widespread you know there are going to be people figuring out how to jailbreak the chips. I'm down for the idea of cybernetics but no way would I get any kind of implant even capable of a wireless connection.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Well, there's obviously nothing inside their skulls anyway 😜.

[–] boatsnhos931 3 points 1 year ago

This is how the zombie apocalypse begins.. loads crossbow...

[–] afraid_of_zombies 2 points 1 year ago

On the bright side even at worst case scenario nothing of value will be lost.

[–] AnalogyAddict 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like the overlap of people willing to have a chip inserted in their brain and people willing to wear a MAGA hat is significantly non-zero.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Jokes on them. They could have gotten a free Microsoft 5G chip via the vaccine like I did.

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