Autism

OMG, I'm so excited to answer this question! 😆 Also, I'm happy you asked this because it means you're intuitive enough to pick up on it on your own and vulnerable enough to seek knowledge and improve your life. To me, this is a good sign for your well-being, altough I know it might not feel that way.

What I've learned in my intense special interest with autism and neurotypicality over the past year is that allistics are constantly aware of a social hierarchy and everyone's position on it, though it is more prevalent in some social settings over others. A main life purpose is to be as high as possible while not trying to look like it.

One way to maintain or increase their position is to appear knowledgeable. It serves the purpose of seeming like a valuable resource and that they may have undisclosed tricks should someone attack them for their position. Despite trying to seem like no one is doing this, they all know they are. Because of this, they have learned that they should only ask knowledge questions that the other person will know the answer to. Otherwise, asking a question someone can't confidently answer correctly is an attack on their position. In other words, asking this is pointing out that the emperor has no clothes. Therefore, asking a question that someone doesn't know the answer to causes the anxiety of being attacked.

They have several manners in which to respond, but two come to mind. One, they can be confident in their social power and openly admit that they don't know. However, you'll really only see this with high ranking people that have security in their social rank (e.g. executives, famous professors, etc.) , those that are so low in their rank that not knowing isn't going to affect them, or people that are visiting temporarily so their long-term position doesn't matter or they have an excuse to not know. Two, they can distract everyone by manipulating the topic in a way that helps observers not realize they don't know. Howver, this makes the asker seem either rude or offensive. As such, they will want to limit contact with the asker.

Situations in which I have noticed this to be more common are where people that have acquired positions beyond their effective capacities by manipulating social situations, such as through lying, group politics, appearance, or a mix. It also happens with people new to the setting and are trying to establish a high rank.

By the way, there is a book in the helpful resources link (see the sidebar) that was written by an autistic for autistics explaining the allistic world that I found insightful and helpful. It's called a Field Guide to Earthlings and should be available for free. If you have trouble getting it, please let me know!

Oh, yeah, totally. They'll hijack a conversation and steer it to something else if they sense the rest of the group is also fading in attention.

Yes. One reason is it’s simply less effort. Another is it can be socially awkward to deny someone, or to admit ignorance.

This happens to me a lot. It is so frustrating. People either don't care to elaborate, or, they can't be bothered or don't know how to explain the question they are asking, because it makes sense to them. sigh This definitely has an impact in some of my social circles, and I feel left out when it happens.

In the western world, yes, I'd say it's pretty normal (haven't lived in any western country, just communicating with a lot of people that do live in one). In eastern countries, not so much... though western trends have progressed here as well, it is still common to give some sort of an explanation as to why you'd like to stop communication with some person, regardless if it was online or in person.

For the record, I'm not autistic (or at least I don't think so 😂).