Jokes

He has no memory of coming home but knows that he definitely didn't make it home when he said he would. Knowing his wife is probably furious, he puts on clothes and starts to head to the kitchen when he sees a note "Honey, there's coffee on downstairs. I've prepped things so you can make pancakes, hashbrowns and bacon if you're up to it. I've taken the dogs for a walk. Love you!"

Suspicious but hungry he goes to the kitchen, where things are as described... He makes breakfast and slowly starts to recover. His teenage son comes in, laughs and helps himself to breakfast.

"Son, did your mom say anything to you this morning? She's being more understanding than usual..."

"Ha, well, you came in pretty plastered last night. At first, mom was furious but as she started to help you with your shoes when you yelled "screw off lady, I'm married!"