Jokes

3595 readers

1 users here now

Lemmy users' attempts at being funny

Welcome to the funniest community on Lemmy! The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1- Bigotry, sexualization of minors, and hate speech are not allowed.

2- Links of any kind are not allowed in posts. All NSFW or NSFL content must have a proper Content Warning.

3- Remember to treat your fellow users with kindness and respect. Repeated violations will result in a ban.

4- Any attempts at advertising, company/personal promotion, and spamming will result in a ban.

Sister Communities

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message me or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

For inquiry on becoming a moderator of this community, you may comment on the pinned post of the time.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Lauchs

lemmyAtom

betterdeadthanreddit

A husband wakes up, incredibly hungover... (long) (self.jokes)

submitted 1 year ago by Lauchs to c/jokes

1 comments fedilink hide all child comments

He has no memory of coming home but knows that he definitely didn't make it home when he said he would. Knowing his wife is probably furious, he puts on clothes and starts to head to the kitchen when he sees a note "Honey, there's coffee on downstairs. I've prepped things so you can make pancakes, hashbrowns and bacon if you're up to it. I've taken the dogs for a walk. Love you!"

Suspicious but hungry he goes to the kitchen, where things are as described... He makes breakfast and slowly starts to recover. His teenage son comes in, laughs and helps himself to breakfast.

"Son, did your mom say anything to you this morning? She's being more understanding than usual..."

"Ha, well, you came in pretty plastered last night. At first, mom was furious but as she started to help you with your shoes when you yelled "screw off lady, I'm married!"

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 year ago

Screw off?