I'll start off: I wish I could teleport
this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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Wish granted, but coordinates span the universe. You mess up, teleport off planet, and die.
I wish I could fly.
edit: subconsciously copied the flying part lol
Wish granted, but you can only fly when no one is looking at you.
I wish I had the ability to predict what someone was going to say before they could say it.
Wish granted. You become popular, now the FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA all want you, and you lose control over your life.
I wish I had the ability to push the stock prices up when I squint hard enough.
Wish granted. Stock prices go up the harder you squint but conversely plummet when you don't, leading to an apocalypic market crash that can only be avoided by frequent squinting throughout the day. On the plus side markets close after 4pm so you do get to rest you eyes a bit before the next day :P
I wish I had a notebook, that whatever I drew in it would immediately come into existence in front of me.
Wish granted. You get the notebook***.
I wish I could stop time.
***accompanying magic pencil granted separately.
Wish granted. But once you use your powers for the first time you realize that you cannot unfreeze time, and so you (along with the rest of the universe) spend eternity frozen.
I wish I could cure any ailment with a single touch.
Granted. No one in your country stays sick. There is an explosion in the elderly population. The pension fund runs out. Millions starve to death.
I wish I am all-knowledgeable.
Granted but every time you try to tell someone something you know all they hear is static noise or, if written, all they see is scribblings.
I wish I could print real all-American $100 USD Benjamin’s straight from my hands whenever I wanted.
Granted. However, subdermal printing has yet to be perfected leaving your freshly printed bills stained (and sometimes still wet) with your own blood.
I wish I could get a full night's sleep in a matter of minutes.
Granted! You will get a full night's sleep in a matter of minutes. You will fall asleep for 1 minute at 4 random times during the day.
I wish I could adjust my body temperature at will.
Granted. You notice you burn fat in hours and become addicted. You die from starvation.
I wish I had a lamp with three wishes.
Wish granted. As part of the contract you are turned into a genie and bound to the lamp for 1,000 years, and your three wishes will be granted after you first serve the lamp for that period of time.
I wish mosquitos bites bolstered immune systems instead of carrying diseases like malaria.
Granted! Your immune system becomes so bolstered it became autoimmune as you eat your own brain out.
I wish it's less work to find a girlfriend.
Granted! As technology develops rapidly it's become possible for companies to offer AI girlfriends for those seeking convenience.
I wish I could take a ride on a space shuttle and walk on the moon just once.
Okay, Person C. You can teleport, but only one bodypart at a time. My wish: I wish I could charge phones with my hand.
Okay, Deestan. You can charge phones with your hand, but only very slowly and the phone gets uncomfortably hot. My wish: I wish public transport was free.
Okay, Pankkake. Public transport is free, which is a great boon to the plebs but obviously have the the car manufacturers and other corporate lobbyists irked. They lobby the government until funding is severely slashed; eventually passenger train infrastructure starts to crumble, busses are frequently out of commission, and no one can get anywhere on time using public transport.
I wish everyone in the world always had enough food to satisfy their basic nutritional needs.
The food is absolute nauseating in taste, despite being extremely good for people health.
I wish for an efficient way to create fusion energy to be discovered.
Wish granted. This causes weapons of mass destruction that rely on fusion tech to be much easier to acquire, plunging the world into a new cold war.
I wish I could shape-shift into any animal at will.