this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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Wish granted. But once you use your powers for the first time you realize that you cannot unfreeze time, and so you (along with the rest of the universe) spend eternity frozen.
I wish I could cure any ailment with a single touch.
Granted. No one in your country stays sick. There is an explosion in the elderly population. The pension fund runs out. Millions starve to death.
I wish I am all-knowledgeable.
Granted but every time you try to tell someone something you know all they hear is static noise or, if written, all they see is scribblings.
I wish I could print real all-American $100 USD Benjamin’s straight from my hands whenever I wanted.
Granted. However, subdermal printing has yet to be perfected leaving your freshly printed bills stained (and sometimes still wet) with your own blood.
I wish I could get a full night's sleep in a matter of minutes.
Granted! You will get a full night's sleep in a matter of minutes. You will fall asleep for 1 minute at 4 random times during the day.
I wish I could adjust my body temperature at will.
Granted. You notice you burn fat in hours and become addicted. You die from starvation.
I wish I had a lamp with three wishes.
Wish granted. As part of the contract you are turned into a genie and bound to the lamp for 1,000 years, and your three wishes will be granted after you first serve the lamp for that period of time.
I wish mosquitos bites bolstered immune systems instead of carrying diseases like malaria.
Granted! Your immune system becomes so bolstered it became autoimmune as you eat your own brain out.
I wish it's less work to find a girlfriend.
Granted! As technology develops rapidly it's become possible for companies to offer AI girlfriends for those seeking convenience.
I wish I could take a ride on a space shuttle and walk on the moon just once.