Asklemmy

Buttered bread-cat array.

Sadly, the original is lost to time, way back in the dial-up internet era. It was originally on the Darwin awards forum. It went on for pages and pages, all written in properly and formally. It was glorious.

The basic premise was 2 fold. 1. Buttered bread always lands butter side down. 2. Cats always land on their feet. Assume both of these as absolute facts. What would happen if you strapped a piece of buttered bread, butter side up, to the back of a car?

Incidentally, if anyone knows of a copy of the original, I would love to read through it again.

Kevin

Idk if it was only released online but... 'drrrr......drrrrrr....drrr...'

The fight of an aquarium owner vs the gigantic bobbit worm in his tank.

https://www.michiganreefers.com/threads/the-bobbit-worm-chronicles.84173/

Waffle stomping

Jolly Ranchers

Double dick dude, evnr though it was fake, I remember the initial post and it was awesome.

Two broken arms is a classic and was actually real

The swamps of dagobah is always good for some gagging

Then the jolly ranger story really gets me to vomit

Cum box

Waffle stomp

Ted's Caving Page

I wonder, in a few years, what will Lemmy's stories be.

For me it'd be Don't Even Reply: E-Mails from an Asshole.

Bunch of funny ones. Like someone offered a ride in a Prius for a long car trip between cities, he said he'd have to stop at a river to pour out some motor oil because he doesn't support the environment and had to make up for the environmental damage the Prius wasn't doing.

The whole Chris Chan ordeal.

The cumbox

Does it have to be a true story? I love the story about the grandma who knitted a jumper or something for her grand son and accidentally summoned a demon. But she didn't understand and thought it was her grandson and he -the demon- just hung around an ate sandwiches and kept her company.

The adventures of Todd and Granny it's called.

I can think of a few. Jenny, Kevin, non zero guy, and Iranian yogurt.

The cumconut

Anon jerking off on his little cousin's face while she was asleep and getting caught. My innocence was lost that night, reading his after-action post.