Why I always use a stall
this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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Wait a minute, this guy's not shitting, he's just too awkward to use the urinal!
NOOO
I HAVE A SHY BLADDER
PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME
Not always effective in a nightclub. I've had the door opened a few times by a bouncer assuming I'm doing drugs in there. They see you queuing for the stall for the 6th time that night they tend to get suspicious! Fair enough though because sometimes I was.
I suffered with this most of my life. Anxiety was the cause for me. My anxiety was diagnosed only recently for unrelated reasons but the treatment has had the fortunate side effect of fixing my shy bladder!
You can't pee if you aren't relaxed. You can't relax with debilitating anxiety.
How did that treatment proceed? I've been down this road..
"Waiting for you to exit, there's a fart blocking the flow and I didn't want to crop dust ya."
"You are a prince among men. Godspeed."
You fart out yer dick?
You don't?
you ain't ever had a fart block a piss?
Gonna use some scientific terms here - you realize the fart bag and the piss bag are like, right next to each other?
ah, youth....
I have been to the urinal a couple of time and had no pee and been the dickholder. Now I wait until I'm filled with pee and confidence and let it flow with a gracious splashing stream.
There do come times when a fellow can't pee. I don't look, I just carry on and remember how far I've come.
We all look up to you, I hope you know. One day..
We all look up to you, I hope you know. One day..
There are dozens of us 😩
When this happens, find the smallest speck of dust you can see. There's always dust, and the distraction eases the stress.
Or pull out your phone and use it as a distraction. 60% of the time, it works every time.
I'm not pulling out my phone at a urinal.
if you turn the flash light on and off quickly people will simply think you're taking a photo of your dick
Well, at that point, I might as well just take pics of my dick.
....like I need any more, I mean really.
It do be like that sometimes ☹️
That used to be me. Last time this happened it was literally next to the CEO of the business I work for. Now I just go for cubicles. Always.
Whenever I get pee shy, I think of this comic and it relaxes me enough to get things going.
Stupid trick, but silently laughing seems to help with this. But that's not an option if there's a neighbour, or things will get weird quickly.
I think this is a scene from the movie "Waiting"
This is a whole subplot from the movie "Waiting."