this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
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[–] GCanuck 125 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Muscles weigh more than shit. When you were shitting, you were flexing really hard and built muscle.

Congrats on the gains.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Congrats, you now have a sphincter that can cut cucumbers!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

What about a watermelon?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Constipation builds muscle faster. No pain no gain.

[–] PopcornPrincess 3 points 10 months ago

Science. 😎

[–] [email protected] 68 points 10 months ago (4 children)

The real answer is that bathroom scales have god awful precision and accuracy.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Most mid market scales buffer the weight to normalize it. I got a $20 one off Amazon that just tells me fresh every time and it’s great. I pooped .4lbs this morning.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Hmm, how would they buffer it, if you've got multiple household members? Or are we talking about those weird scales that require an app?

[–] hesdeadjim 4 points 10 months ago

If last measurement within half a pound, show previous measurement.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (2 children)

They are both imprecise AND inaccurate?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

When talking about measurements, "precision" and "accuracy" have slightly different meanings See here

[–] hesdeadjim 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Most digital bathroom scales will repeat your last measurement if it hasn't changed by more than half a pound. I pick up a 1 lb soap bottle off the counter first, then measure again without it for my weigh in.

Customers really hate seeing if a scale has a little inaccuracy in back to back measurements, so they all build in this bullshitting.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

so you're saying we should invest in an industrial freight shipping scale for maximum accuracy

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I love this. It remind me of the whole South Korean fan thing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

I'm short-sighted and on our mechanical scale, I can't see the thin lines to count out the precise kilos.
At first, I was bothered by that, but yeah, in addition to natural weight fluctuations, just bouncing a bit on the scale would stop it at different kilos, so eventually I considered it more of a feature that I couldn't tell precisely.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Methane is lighter than air. You deflated your balloon intestines by removing the cork, so the methane and other gases are no longer giving you a modicum of buoyancy.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

πŸ«„β¬…οΈ me with 1lb of poop and -1.4lb of methane

[–] SpaceNoodle 45 points 10 months ago

That's why you have to be sure to leave a dump and not take a dump.

[–] NevermindNoMind 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's all the coffee you drank you make that poop a reality.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Only a shower in between. It was a miracle birth

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Makes sense if you've got a lot of hair. Water ain't exactly light

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Dried my hair first for science to isolate variables πŸ§‘β€πŸ”¬

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Could be OP is a sheep dog? Or a yeti?

Or if OP is a furry I suggest not to shower in the costume (or what furries call their suits?)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Usually called a fursuit, I think even for non-mammalian characters.

[–] oogles 11 points 10 months ago

Quick, eat an entire pizza by yourself to drop the weight again.

[–] recapitated 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'll bet you put your phone down the first time, and it was in your pocket the second time. Poop weighs incredibly little.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I once lost 4 pounds just by pooping.

[–] recapitated 4 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] recapitated 1 points 10 months ago

And what was it on the Clydesdale scale?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

"careful, he's a hero"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

No clothes both times and dry hair. The scientific method cannot constrain me

[–] someguy3 8 points 10 months ago

Shitting antimatter.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

No, don't be ashamed. 1 out of 3000 Americans is a Reverse-Pooper; it's time we recognize their struggle

[–] expatriado 6 points 10 months ago

this can only be explained if your shit is lighter than air, did it fly away?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The science going on in the comment section is just *chef's kiss*

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I learn all my science from meme communities

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Build a hyperdrive with that negative mass exotic matter poop