this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
230 points (97.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

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This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

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[–] symcal 100 points 1 year ago (2 children)

While we are at it, let's make sure they also run Electron since so many companies use it.

[–] nicoweio 41 points 1 year ago

All CPUs are Electron-based, if you think about it.

[–] Zeth0s 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The accenture consultant told the CIO it's top right in the Gartner quadrant... It must be the right solution

Now if you can excuse me, I am invited in the 50th workshop to explain us how they'll fill the excel sheets in the new agile framework they are selling us for the project. Money well spent!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

“It’s a magic square. Magic! How could it ever go wrong!”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ugh, your Gartner quadrant gave me flashbacks to past jobs and I just want to die now.

[–] Zeth0s 2 points 1 year ago

I see you are not a leader... What a shame /s

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 year ago (4 children)

blockchain for state management, TRULY speculative execution.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I once wrote an interpreter for a subset of the java bytecode in python. The jvm being a stack machine allowed me to store its state in IPFS and reference past states by their hash, i.e. you get a blockchain of execution states. It worked for a hello world program and was slow as fuck.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am terrified and aroused

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'm only terrified

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

And AI for arithmetic operations. That's so brilliant. I think we have a great idea for startup.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Holy shit, this guy is living in the future

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

You're responsible for cleaning up all this vomit I made just now.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

For webscale you might want to use mongodb

Edit: oh shit. This is old.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Does it require a lot of configuration though? Does it work?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Speculative haxecution.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

You joke but transactional memory in CPUs is a thing ;)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I couldnt even imagine trying to port any non assembly language to circuits in verilog.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It is easier to implement ALU, memory and interpreter in Verilog and run the code with that at that point.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This has to be a joke right?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

No, jokes on the internet are illegal because nobody recognizes them as jokes

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

No, clearly a community called programmer_humor is about serious things