Fuck no. I prefer my privacy and I also don't want people getting offended if I read something but don't feel like responding to it immediately. I would also turn off the three little dots that say I'm typing if I could.
this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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I legit hate the typing dots, especially since uasualy if i dont respond im busy or thinking of a reply... and the three dots makes it feel like theres an expectation to reply right then. Also i have a friend that gets offended/internalizes it (yes they have some issues ha) which makes me just not open them till very late in the day
Yes I do, I don't mind that people see that I read their message and I like to see when others read mine. But if someone ever tells me I should have reacted because I've read it, it's their fault.
educate people!
Claiming to have missed a message is ~1/4 of all the messages I send. I'm not about to provide proof that I'm lying.
We do know anyways that you're lying because the phone is always in your pocket. The lying makes you just look bad. But that's on you.
No. You send me a message, your businesses is done, whether I read it or not is my business. Especially on WhatsApp where there are spammers and debt collectors.
I don't mind keeping it on on private messengers with no connection to my identity, like Session or Matrix. But if you can find me via my phone number, nope.
It's bizarre how features like these are enabled by default. Same shit with embedding GPS in photos... On by default. Shows what kind of people design these things.
"Read reciepts ruin friendships."
I dont remember where I read that quote, but I agree with it.
That's sad though. Sometimes I don't feel like replying to my friends, I know it's the same for them. If they saw my message and haven't replied, I assume they'll reply later or give them a bit more time before reminding them.
I have them on, I think it’s quite annoying if there’s something urgent and you can’t tell if the text got read or not.
Always on, why would I hide if I read the message? I also reply back, which is an uncommon skill it seams.
There shouldn't be an expectation to always be "on". I'll reply to people, but sometimes it might a few days or a week later.
But then I'm old enough to have had pen pals and remember conversations that would go on for years with weeks or months inbetween each exchange.
True, but people lost this because of the constant media input. They won't reply in a day or a week, they completely forget to do it at all. Also sometimes not replying is totally fine, it's more of a general rule. I know myself that I sometimes send stuff where there's no response required. But when I ask if they have time to hang out and they don't reply, even if it's just to not insult me, that's stupid.
People should say if they have time or not. My best buddy only started to say "no" once I told him I'm totally fine with it. Somehow people lack confidence these days...I don't know. I'm not that old but people used to be more willing to just decline instead of ghosting. Not showing you've read a message by blocking the recipe arrows, is even worse and I kick people like that out of my friend list. I see it as duty to reply friends and people that care about me, so I expect that from other people as well.
My personal conclusion is, that too many people have too many fake friends and secretly they feel lonely because of the world they've build themselves. A world of no commitment and no responsibility. It's like people who always lie, so they assume everyone else is constantly lying.
This sounds like you have really unhealthy friendships with poor communication. Sure, an acknowledgement of your invitation at the very least is respectful, but I also would never expect any of the people I love to feel an obligation to be tied to their phone or to have to speak to me if in that moment they don't want to. People have lives that don't revolve around me, and I know that doesn't mean that they care about me any less.
Maybe their anxiety is playing up that week? Maybe they're depressed? Maybe they're really busy? None of these things are an insult to me, and if you care about each other then you'll make time at some point.
Na, your interpret too much into that. I just didn't feel like writing even more text. I don't expect people to be tied to their phone, there's a clear difference. I don't expect people to care as much as I do either.
But if people find zero time talking to you, you still think they care about you? That's pretty naive.
The only unhealthy about that is sticking to people like that. Wasting energy for fake friends is a waste of time. But that's also more of a German cultural thing and I dislike that we become more American where this is also taken way less seriously. Being a friend also means acting like one. Yes everyone has their reason why they might not have time or feel like talking, yet friends means also responsibility, else it's not a friend and just a buddy, replaceable, unimportant, unloyal, like the 1000 people they have in their Facebook list.
If people have zero time to talk to you then they're not a friend, no, but I'm talking about expecting instant replies. I very much agree with you about not giving time to fake friends, and that's what I was referring to about unhealthy friendships in my previous comment.
I think the majority of interactions with my friends just happen in person so most conversations aren't taking place on my phone, apart from those that live far away. And I have like 200 friends on Facebook because I made a new account and only added people I care about (which I highly recommend for any social media!).
No, I consider read receipts and typing indicators privacy violations. If I could specifically turn it on for my family and very close friends maybe, but it's no one else's business.
I leave it on and really like having it on. It’s nice to share with someone that I’ve read their message, and it also does not warrant a need to reply to anything.
It also eliminates the, “oh no just saw this” bs that I’ve noticed at times. If I see a message is read that was maybe time sensitive and do not get a reply, it’s fine and I can plan around that person.
I personally like to keep it on. Most of my messaging is with family and friends and it's good to know if someone read or hasn't read my message.
Especially if things are time critical. Picking someone up? Asking if they need anything from the supermarket? If I see that they read the message I know that they are going to reply in a moment. If they didn't even read the message I won't have to wait around / can guess that they are currently in the car or wherever.
Sometimes you also have a spotty connection, so the received + read receipt can tell you if they actually got your message.
In general if someone sends me a message and I read it.. I'm going to fucking reply to it (if I'm not super busy, and even then I might send a quick message back). I seriously don't get people who just leave things on read and then forget about it.
If its time sensitive why not just call?
For me: text = non urgent Calls/vm = urgent
I don't like read receipts, but I do like delivery notifications.
Some people have really unrealistic expectations about how fast others should respond to a message.
I don’t care enough to turn it off if it’s on by default but I’m also not going out of my way to turn it on either. If somebody has a problem with me leaving their message on read instead of being understanding that people get busy then it’s probably better for me to know that person has some red flags.
nope has been off for me in as long as I can think
Yes, I do.
I use them.
Text communication is so hard in the first place. I’ll take any tool I can get to make it smoother.
My model for privacy is: I want to keep corpos out of my business, so that I can feel comfy sharing more with the people I care about.
If I’m treating my friends like a threat, what’s the point? Might as well not be the real me anywhere, anytime then. At which point, who cares about privacy when it’s not even “you” that you’re keeping private?
I have them off, but if something comes in that I should respond to I do send some sort of response back (errands, plans, etc.) I just don't like feeling I get that I should respond now to something just because I saw it and now the person on the other end knows that I saw it, and are now wondering why I haven't sent something back yet.
I just leave it on because I have no issues with it, if I am ghosting someone I just don't open that chat. The online stuff however I do turn off.
I love it, it tells me either they haven't viewed it, so no need to remind them or need to call them if it's a bit more urgent. If they saw it and didn't reply, depending on timing and situation, I assume/know that either they're too busy right now, working on something before replying or forgot and need a reminder.
Super useful!
No. You are not entitled to an instant response.
As long as the app allows me to preview the message without opening it, I'm fine with turning on read receipts.
Depends on the audience, close friends on.
Work / social stalkers - off
I would like to see a feature that allows me to enable it for specific contacts/conversations and disable for the rest. It's useful if there is something that I need to tell someone that's time sensitive but not urgent enough for me to call them, but I don't want everyone to be able to know if I have read a message or not.
So for family and close friends I would like to enable that feature, but for anyone else I would like it to be disabled.
Since this is all or nothing right now, I keep it disabled for everyone.
Wait, I always thought turning them on turns them on for you and the other person still has to turn it on for themselves to see it. Like even if you leave it off, they can still see if you've read theirs if they have it on. Am I misunderstanding this setting?
In order for this feature to be enabled with both participants of the conversation. What I mean is that I want it to be disabled for my conversation with everyone with the exception of specific people.
I don't need to know if message was read so i disable it for my own privacy.
Besides, I think they're pointless in my case. I usually read the message in the notification and reply or dismiss it without opening the app, and the apps usually don't record these interactions as "read".
I have read receipts on with my wife, but no one else. Too much pressure, especially for someone like me who habitually clears notifications even if I haven’t addressed anything
I have them off by default, but telegram allows exceptions so I use that for people close to me.
Yeah, I want those tax returns.
I do. If I can’t get back to you right away I’ll message and say so
No
I have everything off except read receipts. I want to know if someone got my message or if they just received it
Yes they're on. They tend to be default on.
Getting offended is a you-problem that didn't afflict anyone born last century.