this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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SCP

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Secure

The Foundation secures anomalies with the goal of preventing them from falling into the hands of civilian or rival agencies, through extensive observation and surveillance and by acting to intercept such anomalies at the earliest opportunity.

Contain

The Foundation contains anomalies with the goal of preventing their influence or effects from spreading, by either relocating, concealing, or dismantling such anomalies or by suppressing or preventing public dissemination of knowledge thereof.

Protect

The Foundation protects humanity from the effects of such anomalies as well as the anomalies themselves until such time that they are either fully understood or new theories of science can be devised based on their properties and behavior. The Foundation may also neutralize or destroy anomalies as an option of last resort, if they are determined to be too dangerous to be contained.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago (2 children)

40k fans: yeah i'm good, too

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Maybe some of us want to be part of some "minor" war crimes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Nah I'm devoting myself to slaanesh immediately.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

When I first read this, I read it as downvoting myself to slaanesh. I was like "Yeah, that's a very Slaaneshi comment."

[–] Thcdenton 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

If I could, I'd sign on with papa nurgle yesterday

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

You can get a feel of that at your nearest MtG tournament

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Only thing I want from SCP is 999

[–] ekZepp 17 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] atrielienz 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This little guy is how I know I don't belong anywhere but the library of the SCP foundation. I want to pet him. He's friend shaped. I cannot be trusted.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Cannot be trusted to what? Isn't he freely accessible to all staff?

[–] atrielienz 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

To not pet the anomalies. Pretty sure we're not supposed to pet most of them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This particular one is encouraged :)

[–] atrielienz 3 points 4 days ago

Yeah, but there's a whole bunch of dog SCP's out there and I want to pet them too. I have no self control I will die first. I'm not stupid enough to pet a bear, but... I still want to.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Some SCP-500 would also be great.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I like the pocket dimension ones like I could probably survive in an endless IKEA, just build a fort out of Billys and Applaros you know?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

There would be an infinite Blåhaj supply too. Sign me up!

[–] Pacrat173 14 points 5 days ago

To be fair when I asked a few people said they’d like to be D-Class which is… uh a bit worrying I’d say

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

I'd take being some of the anomalies. Could be 999 and just chillin. Or one of the non throw away MTF squads.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I wanna be that dude who can teleport to other worlds. 😩

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Yeah, but he can't control it and he just randomly goes to other worlds. No guarantee if it'll be awesome or horrifying.

[–] Agent641 3 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Stargate Fans: I wanna be Walter Harriman!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

"And then i say 'seventh Chevron locked,' y'know, to change it up."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

We wish to be Walter then end up being Sgt Siler

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Maybe, I want to be D-Class.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Sincerely, why‽

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 points 4 days ago

I wanna be a woofus