Horror movies

In the long history of exploitation and horror movies, the fairer sex tends to get a raw deal when it comes to preserving their privates. But, as audiences found out this week, that’s changing with anti-heroines like Maxine Minx. Attempting to account for every woman’s wounded whispering eye would be an exercise in futility. What about the man-meat mutilation? How often do we get to see some gnards gnashed?

There’s a perverse pleasure that comes with seeing the family jewels dethroned—and it feels less exploitative since, y’know, women’s continued subjugation under the patriarchy. We’re rooting for the rump-splitter removal. And at the same time as women continue to fight for equality, men’s junk continues to get jettisoned more and more frequently in the horror genre.

For this list, we’re not looking at simple kicks to the groins—no, we want to see true damage. Give us your chain saws, sledgehammers, guns, and high heels yearning to wreck the D. Now, considering I lack the proper appendages to rate these on a proper pain scale, I’ve instead included whether I deem the destruction warranted.