this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
675 points (98.1% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 203 points 2 months ago (5 children)

How many dicks do I have to suck to prove I'm not gay!?

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago

In my case, at least one

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Like one girl cock I think

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

If you someone tells you that broccoli is gross, but have never tried broccoli, can you trust their opinion?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 139 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Fake: anon has a friend

Gay: literally gay

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fake because Brad didn't get gay with Tim and anon

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

fake because tim is marrying a girl

[–] [email protected] 104 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

One of the few anon stories that seems plausible

[–] Skanky 48 points 2 months ago (2 children)

In before someone posts the green text story of a friendship of two straight dudes just being straight dudes having a good time blowing each other

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

That doesn't narrow it down as much as you'd think

[–] NikkiDimes 11 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Being queer in HS was so fucking fun.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

If you don't mind me asking, when were you in high school?

I was in high school in the late 2010s, in a red county in a red state, and there were a few openly queer ppl in my grade who were never bullied throughout high school.

I think it was because allies outnumbered the homophobes/transphobes and bullies only punch down, not up.

[–] captainlezbian 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I was in high school in the late 00s early 10s and I remember guys in the locker room talking about how they'd murder a trans woman if one "tricked them". Around that point the only reason I didn't realize I was a trans woman was that I really didn't want to realize it.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I was in my countries equivalent in the late '00s and early '10s, and it ... really wasn't. So I'd say that's rather time and place dependent.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Unless you go to a Christian high school, then it sucks

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

Ahh, they must've whispered "no homo" before getting in the showers together!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Tim is getting married at ~22?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (17 children)

Is that strange where you are from?

[–] Wizard_Pope 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Indeed. Here most people are still either getting their education or just starting with work.

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[–] CluckN 5 points 2 months ago

In Lesotho that’s practically middle-aged.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (17 children)
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[–] bitflag 6 points 2 months ago

Americans marry early. And often.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

Traumatize them back. Best revenge type.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

This is not gay. A cock was touched, even stroked, but there is no mention of the soap. Did it fell? Did someone pick it up?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Jumi 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If touching dick is gay almost every man is a homosexual

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

What about touching other peoples' dicks?

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