this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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It’s a satire LinkedIn acct

all 34 comments
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[–] Veedem 55 points 2 months ago (3 children)

How many people on LinkedIn absolutely loved that? lol

[–] jewbacca117 27 points 2 months ago

This guy's profile is the shining like in the depths of shit that is LinkedIn. Sometimes the comments are funnier than his posts. There are always people commenting like it's a serious post.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

42,078 according to the screenshot

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Who wouldn't? This is hilarious

[–] aeronmelon 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What’s 2+2?

Engineer: 4e0

Mathematician: grabs chalk and begins a proof

Accountant: what do you want it to be?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

the accountant will tell you "2" and then keep 2 in crypto

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Oh the friends know. They talk about it between themselves, just too polite to say it directly.

[–] then_three_more 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The friends know and are doing the opposite, £12.38, becomes £12.83 etc

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, no, £12.38 becomes the £22.91.

[–] Valmond 4 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

That cheap bastard. Make him pay you back in cash!

[–] Shardikprime 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Bro made 6 cents per day over 5 years LMAO 🤣

The cheapskate's friends meanwhile:

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If I had a friend like this, unless they were useful or more interesting than average people, I'd stop inviting them out.

I'll just let that friendship die, that's fine.

This is worse than what my friends and I usually do. We either do completely separate bills, or we trade back and forth who is paying. Nobody quibbles about how much, or how much more this time might be compared to last time. You pay the bill, and next time, your bill gets paid for you.

I take note whenever I'm paying more than once in a row, and if it becomes a trend that I'm paying for everything, I stop inviting people out. I'm not going to invite you out somewhere just to have me pay for it 100% of the time. If I wanted to pay for someone to keep me company, I'd hire a hooker.

[–] Phoenix3875 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

God damn it Jimmy. I knew it was 1216, one after Magna Carta.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Shardikprime 1 points 2 months ago

Electricity buzzing noises INTENSIFIES

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Is there something like r/okbuddychicanery on Lemmy?

[–] Anticorp 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Back in my college years, my cheapest friend would always conveniently "forget his wallet" when we were all going out to dinner, a fact he wouldn't reveal until after the bill arrived.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I had a roommate that took advantage of me like that for 2 years. In the end I kept his security deposit because he cost me so much money

[–] Anticorp 4 points 2 months ago

He would do it when we were out in groups, so he could spread it around. Thankfully he stopped being like that when he got older and a little more established.

[–] HeyJoe 2 points 2 months ago

That's a Seinfeld episode.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Oh sure, they might not bother raising a big stink about that but I bet you at least some of them will remember. Until one day, when he’s at the end of his rope and in need of a friend, then they’ll leave him hanging.

[–] slazer2au 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Try that with a business and see how far you get.

spoiler alertIt isn't very far

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I tend to transfer a penny or two extra when I'm annoyed with the business, just to fuck with their balance sheets.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You don't do it to a business.

You only do it to your friends. Obviously.

[–] DragonsInARoom 5 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I love that guy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I don't think I'd even notice if a friend did that to me 😅

[–] mEEGal 1 points 2 months ago