this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 148 points 5 days ago (1 children)

She probably broke up because anon uses terms like "gay yelp"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I love when my partner gay yelps* tbh

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago

You should use more lube

[–] [email protected] 85 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I wish annon would let our gay yelps for me :3

[–] Iheartcheese 26 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese 27 points 5 days ago (2 children)

OHGODOHGOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD WORK

[–] NegativeInf 32 points 5 days ago

Show 'em your butthole!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 days ago

I hope this interaction has given you the confidence to plan out your second line after saying hello :))

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I feel like that's the missing last sentence: Am meeting dudes now.

[–] Thcdenton 8 points 5 days ago

I am become gay yelp

[–] [email protected] 59 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

There's a whole gay site dedicated to that

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Is it yelp.com?

[–] toynbee 2 points 5 days ago
[–] bulwark 59 points 5 days ago (2 children)

That reminds me of the time I took a date to go see "The Hills Have Eyes". It was a dine-in theater, and I had gotten breadsticks and marinara. We just sat down and started to eat, and the date was going pretty good. If you've ever seen that movie, the opening scene is a jump scare right off the bat. I had a mouth full of breadstick and was actively holding the cup full of marinara that I launched directly into her chest because I jumped. Anyways, the date didn't work out and it was pretty awkward for the rest of the movie.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Should have gone out with the Italian chick instead.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Another bad one I had once, we we're in a really good Mexican close the theater and it was really good, we were chatting and laughing, until the nachos came by. She started to take all the fully loaded nachos, you know, the ones that are full of cheese and meat, leaving me only the ones that are just the chip. So I got up and went to talk to someone of the staff, to ask if they had some rule in the restaurant about one person eating all the fully loaded nachos alone, he said that they don't had one (pretty crazy that this is nor a regularly enforced thing, but wharever) and I asked him to please just go to our table and made the rule up. He was nice and help me, but my date felt it was very strange and asked him if I was the one who made up the rule, and he snitches me up! Can you believe it? So, she got upset and said that she was leaving, but it was too soon for the movie and she was like we're not going to the movie. The movies was good by the way, was this one with Santa, he was a cop and I heard he was paid 2M for that.

[–] topherclay 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

we we're in a really good Mexican close the theater and it was really good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The second really good was about the conversation, not the restaurant.

[–] topherclay 1 points 5 days ago

It was an attempt to get you to proofread. I think you accidentally a restaurant.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

You rolled and failed the charisma check. Unlucky because that could have been smooth.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago (1 children)

At that point i think its good that they broke up. Men have emotions.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Also, isn't that the whole point of scary movies? I love scary movies and I show that by reacting to the good jump scares, gore, and creepiness. If it bored me so much I didn't react, I probably would find something else to watch. My partner gets a real kick out of watching me jump too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Yeah but you have to keep in mind that most relationships are for show. What you have is a real relationship. You actually want to bond with the person and not just sex and social validation.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Plot twist: It was the equestria girls movie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

Anyone know what movie?

[–] shalafi 4 points 5 days ago

Gay yelp:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF0I2h8xx-0

"Yeah, that's a bleepin' dead alien body..."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Ah a shitpost

[–] njm1314 2 points 5 days ago

What's that Bill Burr bit? The one about the bitch noises on the plane?