Fuck me, I own a Mazda and had a mini heart attack before seeing the community name
this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
277 points (98.9% liked)
The Onion
4470 readers
1495 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Rest easy, the non-funny article about Mazda product enshittification by subacription is here https://www.motor1.com/news/729233/mazda-connected-services-remote-start-subscription/
Don't you mean rest uneasy?
Yeah :/ I ain’t too happy about that one. At least I’m not getting charged for heated seats though 🤷
While this is shit, if they told the consumer at time of sale that it was a 3 year “free-trial”, and the consumer still bought it anyways, then its kind of on them.
Yes, and when all the other car manufacturers add it, then it's all on the consumer too, right?
Enshittification is a problem, because in our "this quarter's profits trump all" world, sales leaders would be fired if they don't join the race to the bottom on whatever their product. This then takes away the power of the consumer marketplace to push back by not buying shit products and ideas. Remember airline bag fees? Know anyone who doesn't think they're a bullshit cash grab? Yet do 100% of consumers thinking it's shit have any power to change it in an industry with ~4 choices who all implemented similar policies within months of each other? There are countless other examples.
The mindset you argue pretends there isn't collusion, and that there IS a competitive marketplace.
Honking is now a paid subscription service. Don't give them ideas!
This is how you get BMW drivers not using indicators because of expensive blinker fluid
If this were true I wouldn't have to pay much. I've been driving and have only used my horn one or two times, barring hello 'honk honks'. And the honk I do to let my cat know I'm home and she can stop sleeping in the window
If I cut those out that's like 2 honks a year.
There's no reason to honk as a 'hello'. That's just unecessary noise pollution.
Yeah, the model mentioned by the article would be rather generous as opposed to a subscription service to enable the horn at all.
I think we should only get 3 honks a month on the car horn, because people honk the car horn too much. 3 honks, that's the limit. And then someone cuts you off, ffffft, you press your horn, nothing happens. You're like, "shit! I wish I wouldn't have seen Ricky on the sidewalk!"
bootleg onion?
is this satirizing some other recently introduced subscription of Mazda's?
Yep, remote start.
They previously had remote start by key fob. They now only offer remote start via phone app with a $10 a month subscription.
what a world we live in!
That's a clever title.
That's how I support our local Boeing strike. I do 3 hunks on the first stop and 3 on the 2nd. Then coming home I do it again. So 12 hunks total per day. That's a lot of money 🤑💰🤑 during tax time.
This would be a good idea with lots of room for improvement. For example, geolocating the car and making the price go x1000 if in a "no honking" zone. What we really need is cars that self-report to road authorities when driving over the speed limit.
geolocating the car and making the price go x1000 if in a “no honking” zone
also i don't like this, imagine living two blocks from a hospital and getting fined when you honked in front of your house because the gps was still calibrating
It averages out. Keep a clean record for a set interval and you get discounts.
You think I'm joking, but car insurance companies are going to do all of these things, and not for public health. Smart cars are especially big leaks of personal data.
I want surge pricing for my honks. Hurt me more, capitalism-daddy.
why, you know, just limit the car speed, no one needs 200km/h
I’d…I would support this. Honking serves little purpose.
I was behind someone when the light turned green and while the person in front of them took off, they didn’t. No amount of honking had any effect. The light turned red and they suddenly awoke from their coma and ran it.
Some lady was paying zero attention and backed out her parking spot.. almost directly into me. Thankfully she was at least awake even if she was mostly oblivious. The horn got her to stop lol
They waited to shaft you because you honked at them. Spiting you was worth the ticket to them.