this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

[–] DokPsy 6 points 1 day ago

Calm down Canada.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!

[–] CptEnder 6 points 1 day ago

/c/NCD leaking

[–] [email protected] 185 points 1 day ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] [email protected] 164 points 1 day ago (2 children)

$50 that Trump rages about this in the next 24 hours thinking Biden is still running.

[–] UFO64 68 points 1 day ago

Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

[–] Late2TheParty 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago
[–] expatriado 62 points 1 day ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] [email protected] 106 points 1 day ago

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I need to wake up. I went to sleep drunk, I woke up feeling still drunk.

I read your username as "DopeSalad"

Thats not even CLOSE!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious anyways. There is a band named Hopesfall. I thought it was dumb so I came up with that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Search for their article on "Habitrail for Humanity" - it's my favorite.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

They're now in newspaper format again, if that helps!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Sure. Just a joke.

[–] affiliate 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] nexguy 8 points 1 day ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 day ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?

[–] Dadifer 16 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] InverseParallax 70 points 1 day ago (3 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] atocci 38 points 1 day ago

Among other works

[–] motor_spirit 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

you joke but this is how he's brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context

[–] XeroxCool 5 points 1 day ago

Seems like it's up there with the killdozer Fandom. Casual terrorism... Or living the American dream?

[–] DamienGramatacus 7 points 1 day ago

And his cake having tendancies

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?

!it's a running gag for the onion!<

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] Sterile_Technique 3 points 1 day ago

Naw, they're rooting for Eisenhower.

[–] WrenFeather 11 points 1 day ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

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