this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 200 points 1 month ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] [email protected] 140 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

[–] DokPsy 8 points 1 month ago

Calm down Canada.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!

[–] CptEnder 6 points 1 month ago

/c/NCD leaking

[–] [email protected] 117 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

The whole thing is brilliant. The Onion has been on fire lately.

[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I need to wake up. I went to sleep drunk, I woke up feeling still drunk.

I read your username as "DopeSalad"

Thats not even CLOSE!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious anyways. There is a band named Hopesfall. I thought it was dumb so I came up with that.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Sure. Just a joke.

[–] affiliate 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] nexguy 10 points 1 month ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] expatriado 70 points 1 month ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?

[–] Dadifer 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] InverseParallax 74 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] atocci 42 points 1 month ago

Among other works

[–] motor_spirit 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

you joke but this is how he's brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context

[–] XeroxCool 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Seems like it's up there with the killdozer Fandom. Casual terrorism... Or living the American dream?

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[–] DamienGramatacus 7 points 1 month ago

And his cake having tendancies

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?

!it's a running gag for the onion!<

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[–] WrenFeather 11 points 1 month ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] Sterile_Technique 3 points 1 month ago

Naw, they're rooting for Eisenhower.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

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