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223

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens (theonion.com)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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WINDER, GA—In the hours following a violent rampage in Georgia in which a lone attacker killed at least four individuals and injured nine others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place...

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Do they publish this every time there's a school shooting? Swear I've seen this before.

[–] Comptero 16 points 5 months ago

There is a wikipedia article about it.

They say it's a recuring series and they are on number 37.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Yes. It does help drive the point home

[–] badbrainstorm 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Merica sends their thoughts and prayers

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Merica doesn’t actually give a shit either way. I’m surprised we aren’t keeping some kind of public score board with the names and body counts.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

With the names of every republican lawmaker who refused common sense protections, and a total of how many schoolchildren, on average, each is responsible for murdering.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

Oh, well that’s a list I’m okay with. 👍

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Like the Daily Show, the Onion is being driven to actual journalism by the increasing absurdity of the world we live in.

[–] NegativeInf -2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Dumping antidepressants in the water is starting to look more and more effective as a mechanism for positive change in America.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Brave New World.