this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Have you checked with your local Pharaoh they might know something about the owner(s).

[–] FlyingSquid 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You know, that guy is totally unreachable? Every time you get anywhere near his palace, some vizier or other makes some excuse with some memorized message about how to please wait, my visit is really important to them. But you know, I wait and I wait and he'll tell me I'm the fifth person in line or whatever but the line never gets any shorter!

You'd think a god would be more accessible!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

In that case I would check with Thoth. He is the God of Knowledge.

[–] InternetCitizen2 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For years? Must be a coffee den by now.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nope, I went in and there's no one in there at all! Just a bunch of empty rooms in the basement!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did the owners leave something behind you could identify them by?

[–] FlyingSquid 1 points 1 month ago

Not a thing. Just bare walls.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Joke’s on you, Djoser’s been here the longest.

[–] Agent641 5 points 1 month ago

Dont get bent out of shape about it, its a rustic aesthetic

[–] Etterra 5 points 1 month ago

You'll need to sacrifice a bushel of wheat and two jugs of beer to get priority access.

[–] niktemadur 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I see the old, busted K-Mart sign was finally taken off, it felt like it had been there forever.

[–] Agent641 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought it was the ruins of an old Bass Pro shop.

[–] FlyingSquid 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That's what Milo Rossi told me.

I don't know what a bass is though. Is it some sort of grain?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I can’t believe they even stopped maintaining the Electrum siding….

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Have you tried Imhoatep?