this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] ThunderWhiskers 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I'm morbidly curious how antivaxers would respond if some YouTuber started telling them that leeching could "suck out the Rona".

...Who am I kidding, we already know.

[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm only surprised such a suggestion didn't get to and get disseminated by Trump.

I guess it's hard to find leeches these days. I wouldn't know where to get one other than a pond in an area known to have leeches.

[–] ThunderWhiskers 9 points 1 month ago

Ironically, medical leeches and maggots are still used in modern medicine under extremely rare conditions. They are specific species bred in labs for that purpose however.

[–] Anticorp 5 points 1 month ago

As long as trump says it, they'll do it.

[–] negativenull 4 points 1 month ago

They are already taking Ivermectin, which would kill Leeches who drink their blood

[–] moistclump 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Stupid anti-leechers... It's basic science you morons!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

What else is there to do, when their humours are unbalanced? Too much blood is very unhealthy, after all. I wish we had leeches to suck up bile as well, but medical sciences have not advanced to that pinnacle of bliss just yet.

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 1 month ago

This third leech is a leech but is has AI.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Blood gets replaced when you don't have enough.

Our blood is full of microplastics.

Fresh blood is not.

Conclusion: leaches can suck the microplastics out of our body.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Microplastics in your bone marrow, with a steel chair held menacingly above their head

[–] Anticorp 1 points 1 month ago

Gotta get these ghosts out of his blood! Try the cocaine. That always seems to work for a while.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Leeching in Vinland costs 1000 wampum co-pay after insurance.

Most of the ancient world gets leeched for free or low cost under public healthcare systems.