this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] titty_wizard 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's a reference to a clay tablet dating from 1750 BCE which is inscribed with a complaint from a customer about the poor quality of the copper they purchased.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complaint_tablet_to_Ea-n%C4%81%E1%B9%A3ir

[–] KazuyaDarklight 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm with you, definitely feel like there is a layer to this that I'm missing.

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 1 month ago

I feel like some of you aren't even from the Bronze Age.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

It's a reference to what is widely considered the oldest written customer complaint. I had to look it up.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

FUCK Ea Nasir

All my homes hate Ea Nasir

[–] niktemadur 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

To be fair to the seller, this guy should have known it is a bad omen to order right during the disappearing moon between the months of Ne.Izi.Gar and Kin.Inanna.

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whatever. When my messenger gets there with that clay tablet I inscribed, he's going to be sorry.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Shout out to my homie Ea Nasir over at [email protected]