this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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Memes

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For credibility: I hold a major in Shitpostology, certified by a guy at the local bridge. Hes won 300 running weekly hobo knife fights. I have saved over 4000 memes to my phone, most of which are outdated and unfunny. I spend 4 hours a day on discord and Lemmy, whom I love. I come to you as not-sus as can be, and am definetly not the imposter. All this to give credence to myself but please do not let this extensive and bombastic speech distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

Ask me anything, and I will proceed to ignore it.

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[–] nothingcorporate 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many ducks would it take to span the equator if they were all lined up in a row?

[–] Exusia 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At least 12, probably, but I wouldn't quote that

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

At least 12

Too late

[–] Creyapnilla 5 points 1 year ago

How exactly does this behavior differ from a normal person? 😂

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

4 hours a day rookie numbers come back when you don't leave to even pee

[–] son_named_bort 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Honey, where are my paaaaaaaaaaaaannntttssss?

[–] son_named_bort 3 points 1 year ago

Found your pants, series is over.

[–] Exusia 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Did you check the back of my wife's car? You might have left them here.l when we took you to the mission

[–] Viking_Hippie 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What is the meaning of fife?

[–] Exusia 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

To buy lootboxes for our lord EA. Oh shit that's FIFA.

The meaning of a fife is someone didn't want a whole ass flute so they made it shorter

[–] Viking_Hippie 2 points 1 year ago

That was a good idea. In my, admittedly fictional, experience, a whole ass-flute is very painful, so shortening it is preferable.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What band should I hire for my funeral?

[–] Exusia 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean I'd definetly hire a local mariachi and make it a party. It'd be the first party I've ever been invited to.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm going to add a clause to my will that a "reverse quinceañera" party must be held 15 years after my death to celebrate my passage from meat person to skeleton person.

[–] Exusia 1 points 1 year ago

Spooky scary spooky scary spooky scary

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How much shit would a shitposter post if a shitposter could post shit?

[–] Exusia 1 points 1 year ago

Banned for nsfw because feces

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why does the porridge bird lay it's eggs in midair?

[–] Exusia 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So they uh...don't get poached?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No that can't be it, you can still poach the eggs, same as frying them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

4 hours a day rookie numbers come back when you don't leave to even pee

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

While you might indeed be full of shit, this post has turned into top notch comments ...so, thanks I guess?

Maybe your legit after all?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do you get the freshest shit to post and what wood would you recommend for posting it?

[–] Exusia 2 points 1 year ago

Steal popular posts or make my own based on the current popular format, then wait for peak time like 8am central when Americans are awake, then post it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tell me Sempai Shitposter, do my shitposts increase in potency if posted from the toillet while shitting?

[–] Exusia 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The toilet is the preferred place, as workplaces do not permit staff to be on their phones in public. So not only do you get to shitpost, you can say you were busy because you were at the toilet.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Crapping during company time..

[–] FollyDolly 2 points 1 year ago

Was Mankind okay? (I am aware this is a shitty morph reference)