this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It was bad enough to have to get through the world of children and especially teenagers once. I have zero desire to ever watch and accompany someone else having to go through that hell.

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[–] Trail 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Kids for me. On my third one. It is hard at times and you sacrifice a lot of your time, and energy (money is less of an issue up to the second one I'd say, the real costs starts at three where you need to upgrade cars and shit) in order to be a good parent. But watching them grow up and be brilliant boys, is very rewarding. I am happy that I am providing them a good life so far, they are smart and devour knowledge, and they take on my interests kinda naturally so it's fun teaching them things I enjoy.

In a few years we will be nerding out on Dota or PoE or whatever, anime, maybe I will DM an rpg for them and their cousins that live nearby. Start them up with python or so. Teach them Japanese, maybe have them start tennis or so. Or maybe they will nerd out with something on their own. Well see..

Tomorrow I'll grab the boys and go to the countryside for hiking up the mountains, playing in the forest, eating awesome food in taverns and so on. Will be tiring, but will be fun.

So yeah. Kids are fun and they give me a purpose to strive for. Peace and quiet while being alone was definitely something, but after experiencing both, for me it is purposeless, unfulfilling, and gets pretty boring pretty quick.

[–] hungrythirstyhorny 3 points 5 months ago

its so good to have someone that have the same interests, especially if thats our kids.. have a great life

pardon my english :)

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[–] Surp 7 points 5 months ago

I have one kid and it's one of the best things so far life has dished out for me. I love him so much and he's so much fun. I know one kid is my limit though. Enjoy!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Having no kids. I currently have no children and do not plan to. I am satisfied with my life. My only real concerns are about who would support me when I age. Not monetarily but just in case my mind starts to slip and I need someone to help me get the help I need. I don't feel comfortable having a child or adopting with that being the sole reason.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Never considered the who would support you in advanced age argument. But I live in the US and any children I have would end up as probably the poorest generation to ever exist in this country, so not them I suppose.

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[–] newbeni 3 points 5 months ago

So, I have a few family members getting on in age and they are worried about the same thing. In one instance, they hired a house cleaner to come on once a week, just purley my happenstance, but she is able to let us know if said family member feels "a little off base"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Single uncle with 2 nieces is where it's at 😉

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[–] spittingimage 5 points 5 months ago

I made the choice to not have kids. I didn't want the responsibility and I didn't think I'd make a good parent. I'm in my late 40s now, and honestly - it's been pretty great. It was the right choice.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Late 40s. I wanted kids, or at least I think I wanted kids. Might have just been society telling me I wanted kids.

Regardless, kids never happened and I’m glad. My partner and I both agree this world is messed up. And honestly, I probably shouldn’t pass my messed up genes to a new generation.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I don't have social life. I want kids. It's a fucking contradiction.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I love kids, however, with the current situation of our planet and the inhabitants of it, no more. I just hope that our youngest will be able to grow up and live a full life. Shit is going downhill at an accelerated rate.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The moment humans brought nuclear armaments into the world was also the moment that we severed ourselves from our humanity. We are still living in the shadows of metaphorical guns to our heads. This escalation of madness has led us down a very dark path, and for that reason, I'm out.

[–] Shou 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Wars have always been brutal and involved murdering/raping citizens. Don't act like nuclear power made a change in morals. Only thing that changed is the scale. The darkness has always been there.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Absolutely no kids ever even if I wasn’t gay or had ability to adopt. I don’t remember my childhood positively at all, I think my parents should’ve never decided to have kids, and despite me trying hard to not be like them, I found myself making similar mistakes. I don’t understand people being so obsessed about having kids and saying stuff like “wait until you got ur own”, I’m like bitch it’s not happening ever unless it’s a nightmare I wake up all wet after with relief that it’s not real

[–] MapleEngineer 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

My wife had my first when I was 39. I wish I had had kids sooner. I love going to minor hockey games and taking to my daughter about her crafts and school.

[–] ChexMax 3 points 5 months ago

Kids! I thought when I was a kid I wanted them no matter what. In my early twenties I decided I only wanted kids if I could find the right partner. Now I have one. Sometimes my partner is great, sometimes he sucks. I don't care, because my kid is great. She's a joy to be around and gives my life purpose in a way I didn't realize was possible. My whole purpose is just to enjoy reading her a story in that moment. My whole purpose is to feed her when she's hungry. My whole purpose is to look into her eyes. My whole purpose is just to enjoy the moment I'm in, and she accidentally causes me to be fully present so often. It's amazing.

That said, I would say if you're not 80% sure you want kids, don't. Figure out what would get you to 80% first. Financial stability, a good partner, a solid career field, etc.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No kids. They’re a huge, life long commitment that you need to be willing to sacrifice everything for. Your happiness, your sanity, your time, your money… everything.

And I’m not the type of person who wants kids nearly enough to do that.

Especially when people tell me that I should for reasons like having a caretaker when I’m older. I’m not attached to my parents enough to do that. Why would I expect that of anything I pop out? And what a horrible selfish reason to make a new human that is!

If the only reason I’d be having a kid is selfish reasons in the distant future that aren’t even a guarantee, then that’s not worth sacrificing myself for right now.

Nothing against other people who want to be parents, so long as they’re prepared and not doing it as some sort of life insurance or to make a clone of themselves.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I would probably be a mom by now if I could be, not because I want to be but due to regular happenstance, but with everything I face and everything having kids could add to that, I don't trust myself as one, with both bad genetics and a fear of imbuing a bad childhood at play.

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